Tag Archives: white

Becoming White…

I’ve always heard that being White in America is the best thing ever.  That with it come all of these perks and all of these entitlements.  That White people have the most fun in the whole world.  That your status in society is higher and you can further yourself and career more easily just by being white.  That you won’t get random searches when traveling in the airport.  That you can walk by a car filled with people at night and they won’t lock the doors out of fear.  That everyone will treat you with respect.  That it doesn’t matter that I can’t dance.

I stand before you today, a brown man, who has had his first taste of “Whiteness” and I am here to say that this shit sucks.  This weekend I went to the beach. I applied sunscreen for the first time in my life.  And for the first time in my life I have sun burn (is it one or two words?).  White people, you lied to us all.  For the first time in my life, I stand before you part White (due ONLY to my sunburn) and this feeling sucks.  Being White sucks.  Today, I may be a dark, crispy brown, but inside I feel White, only because on the outside I have some red.  So White people, I feel your pain.  You may have all those perks of “Whiteness” but this sunburn (tried it this way and it didn’t correct me on spell check) crap is painful.  It’s not easy being White, I don’t know how you guys do it….


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Let’s be real guys.  Racism still exists.  Whether you want to group “culturalism” into it or not is up to you.  The fact remains that the color of your skin gives a people a preconceived notion of who you actually are.  Some of you are reading this right now and saying “I’m not racist.”  What you should be saying is “I’m not OPENLY racist.”  Racism doesn’t have to be a negative perception of another race or culture.  Racism is having ANY perception of someone based solely on their color or ethnic background (yes, remember I’m grouping them together here).  Still think you aren’t racist? Ok, let’s play “I don’t think I’m a racist” (just made this game up).  If any of this offends anyone, I apologize, but I’m just trying to have everyone acknowledge the problem.  You know what they say “the first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one.”

In no particular order of race or ethnicity, I will indicate the people I am describing with a bunch of generic perceptions regarding them.  If at any point you agree, then you my friend are a racist.

Asians – Can’t drive.  Smart.  Look alike. Short.  Yellow. Eat rice.  Chinese food.  Japanese food.  Communism. Small eye apertures. Karate.  Ninja.  Bruce Lee.  Laundromat.  Computers. Technology.

Arabs/Muslims – Terrorist.  Sand.  Desert. Scary.  Beard.  Nuclear weapons.  Camels.  Pyramids.  Suicide bombs.  Saddam Hussein.  Osama Bin Laden. Jihad. September 11. Convenient Store.  Hairy.  Thick eyebrows. Terrorist (again). Hummus. Falafel. Mohammed. Airplanes. Brown.

African American – Tall.  Fast.  Athletic. Scary. Criminal.  Basketball.  Football. Criminal. Murder.  Lock doors.  Hip hop.  Rap.  Gangster.  Guns.  Awesome dancers. Slavery.  Anger. Ghetto. Baby mama. Weird names. Malcom X. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Jews – Cheap.  Rich.  Hollywood. Run the country. Banks. Politics.  Big nose.  Gold. Stein.  Berg.

Indians (the country) – Red Dot.  Spicy food.  Thick accent.  Cheap. Dark skin.  I can’t understand what they are saying.  Head movement.  Gandhi. Bargaining.  Tech support.  What the hell did he just say? Computers.  Convenient Store. Cricket.

Latino – Immigrant.  Farms. 10 people in one car. Donkey. Border. Speak English. Taco. Burrito.  Soccer. Queso.  Mustache. Castro.  Rafts.

Caucasians – Nerdy.  No rhythm.  Can’t dance.  Can’t jump.  Cracker. Pale. Pasty. Privileged.  Slave masters.  Successful. College.  KKK.  The South.  Surfer dude.

Obviously, I couldn’t think of everything.  Obviously even the little things are still said.  Sadly, all of us are a little racist.  Again, racism doesn’t have to be a negative, it’s just that classification of a people based solely on their background.  You still think you aren’t racist? Just because it ain’t on the lists above don’t mean you haven’t thunk it or said it in jest.  Admit.  You’re a little racist.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  We all are.  No one is perfect.  It’s the imperfection that makes us human.  Acknowledging that we “typecast” people in the minor ways above is the precursor to stopping the the MAJOR forms of racism that lead to innocent people suffering.  Still not a racist? If you’ve ever checked the people in your immediate surrounding to tell a joke so as not to offend anybody, you’re a little racist.  Seriously, you are.  Fix it.

“Hello, my name is ___________, and I’m a little racist.  But so are you.  Let’s work on it together.”

(repeat that to anyone you want, it’s ok, it’s not trademarked)

Racism isn’t OK.  Embrace our differences instead of continuously nitpicking at them.

“I’m not racist, I have a _________ friend.” Yeh….about that….


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