Tag Archives: texting

Bumper Stickers

I see you on cars and I immediately think 5 things:

  1. That’s gonna hurt the re-sale value of your car.
  2. You aren’t really that ignorant to believe that?
  3. Your kid stole that sticker from the smart kid.
  4. Oh that’s clever/funny (sarcastic tone).
  5. Don’t lie to us, you really don’t believe in “coexist”ing

Can anybody actually tell me why people still put these damn things on their car?  It’s distracting to me as the guy following you.  Why? Because I feel compelled to read that shit, even though I know I don’t give a damn.  So yes, “if I’m reading this” I’m “probably too close” and yes I might honk, but not because “I love ta-ta’s.”  Please people, just stop putting shit on your car.  Our society is already stupid and distracted enough while driving.  I can manage reading your shit and driving, but that shit-tard that was texting while driving in 2 lanes simultaneously obviously cannot.  And I don’t care that he/she thinks your puppies are adorable, or that those stick figures you have of your imaginary family on your mini-van is cute.  Most likely you are a horrible driver, and you are genuinely not clever, AND the people driving around you are idiots with well documented driving skills.  So before we start outlawing texting and driving or playing Words with Friends or Angry Birds while driving, we really need to get rid of ALL bumper stickers.  Umm, that pretty much sums it up, I done said it.

This is what your shit looks like to me…

 

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Group Texting…

Don’t do it.  Or do it but have people annoyed at you.  The only time a mass/group text is appropriate is with regards to plans for an event aka “hey dinner tonight at 7, let me know if you’re in.”  Something along those lines.  When should you not group text? In every other situation.  Christmas, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Groundhog’s Day, and 4th of July are just a few examples of when it is not appropriate.  A group text indicates to it’s recipient that you are not a genuine person.  Why? Well because you just sent a message that wasn’t personalized and tried to pass it along as if it was.  Every person that you know has a different type of relationship with you, so you can’t just say “Merry Christmas from the (insert family name).”  That’s weak sauce right there.  If I don’t get a personalized greeting for holidays (or even my birthday…) I just assume that the person sending the message is being lazy.  Yep, you’re lazy.  99% of the people you sent that message to hate group messages (even when you hide that you sent it as a group message).  We all know you were being lazy and thought you could trick us.  We also are all now annoyed by you.  The 1% who aren’t annoyed are the people who live for texts (if you were thinking that group texts didn’t bother you during this little rant, then you fall in this 1%…congratulations).  So if you get angry that nobody wished you a happy something or a merry whatever when you sent a group text that included that person, you only have yourself to blame.  Chances are they already sent out their group text with a greeting…you just didn’t make the cut…ouch, burn.

Let’s end all the confusion! Down with mass texting!!

 

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