Tag Archives: summer

Summer’s Here…

And all the children rejoice.  And those of us in the workplace remember what used to be.  Daydreams stop in 3, 2, 1.  Reality creeps back in.  You’re at work.  Your kids, cousins, unemployed friends are chillin’ at the pool.  You’re slaving away at work.  You pissed off yet? Like I said in an earlier blog (https://idonesaidit.com/2012/03/06/howd-i-lose-3-months/), summer pretty much sucks now.  So while we were all happy we got an extended weekend because of Memorial Day, that’s really all we got, was an extra day.  Gone is that long ass vacation.  Replaced with those long days in an air conditioned office (or non air conditioned, some bosses gotta save money somewhere right?).  So to all the people who are posting on Facebook or Twitter that “Summer is here!” please shut the hell up.  Somewhere is nowhere near here.  Unless “here” involves a time machine, none of us are gonna have a “great summer.”  So enjoy the heat and your workplace.  Oh and if you were waiting to wear white until Memorial Day, you’re an idiot.  I’m not letting anyone tell me what I can and can’t wear (wearing Batman costume to work today, my job needs a hero like me today).  So while the young in’s are getting their summer bronze on, you’re getting pastier by the minute (yeh I’m talkin’ to you, that’s not tan, you’re white as shit). Bring on the Summer Fun! Ugh, I hate you Summer.

What none of us are doing right now.

 

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I Hate Feet

I could stop with just that title.  Seriously, other than the use of feet to get me around, I hate them.  They are ugly to look at.  I advocate people keeping them covered up all the time (ankle socks, not tube socks).  What other body part that people show on the regular (in public)  is uglier (insert your face jokes here) than feet?  There isn’t an answer.  Feet are the ugliest “showable” body part.  The toes on our feet are just not attractive at all. Ladies (and some fellas), you can dress ’em up all ya want, but your feet are still ugly.  For you weird ass people who have a fetish for feet (the dude in Mr. Deeds), what the hell is goin’ on in your sick ass brains.  Feet are disgusting and most of the time dirty (yep, you assholes don’t clean your feet right, don’t lie).  Whenever a chick asks me if I like her toenails after a pedicure, I say no.  Is that mean? Maybe.  But at least I’m honest.  I’d rather look at a wound than look at feet. The main thing I hate about spring/summer is all the idiots wearing flip flops and sandals showing off their ugly ass feet.  And you know what?  Some of you know you have EXTREMELY ugly feet, yet you show them off proudly.  It’s disgusting.  If you question whether your feet are nice or not, they are 100% not nice.  If you think your feet are nice feet, you too are incorrect. No one has nice feet.  Just doesn’t happen.  Myself included (but I’m sure mine are nicer than yours).  Think about it.  Then cover up.  I don’t wanna see that shit.

The only “foot” picture I could tolerate posting.

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Explain this to me….

I’m a little confused (what’s new right?). Some of you have had this convo with me before, and nobody has really been able to answer the question for me.  But this came up yet again in discussion just yesterday, so I feel like it’s time to put it out there.  Summer is upon us, which means, beach/pool season.  Which means chicks in bikinis.  I get it.  Great for tanning.  Actually, that’s pretty much all I get.  I’m no prude (maybe I am?), but what exactly is the purpose of a bikini?  Is it really functional for swimming? Why is it such a popular beachwear choice? That’s not even what I am confused about.  What I’ve never understood is what exactly is the difference between a bikini and a bra and underwear? Anyone (Beuller? Beuller?)? Yep. Didn’t think so.  Only thing different between them is manufacturers and colors.  It’s the same damn shit.

So tell me why girls are all like this in their bra and underwear:

“OMG!! Stop looking at me, I’m not decent, gosh you’re such a perv!”

Yet in a bikini they are all like this:

“Check me out, I’m hot as shit, these other girls are so not hot compared to me! OMG my body is so nice! Heyyy booyyys!!”

That’s the way the girls feel regarding those situations yet I’m pretty (pretty, pretty) sure, the girl in her bra and underwear is actually wearing MORE than the girls in their bikinis.  Hmmmm.  Perplexing indeed.  Seriously though, somebody figure this shit out.  Girls get your shit together.  Y’all wonder why the hell we are confused all the damn time, yet with shit like this you don’t seem to know what your answer is.  Fix it.  Can’t wait to hear what the “differences” are.  CAN’T WAIT!!!

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