Tag Archives: sports

Steroids And Sports…

Lance Armstrong is being stripped of his 7 Tour de France victories by the US Anti Doping Agency (USADA).  Melky Cabrera is suspended for 50 games for violating Major League Baseball (MLB) performance enhancing drug (PED) policies. Ditto with Bartolo Colon (seriously, everybody should have known he was cheating).  What do all these stories have in common aside from the PED use?  If you guessed “nobody cares” then you are correct!  Nobody cares if people are using PED’s to perform in their sport.  I’m pretty sure 90% (definitely just made that number up) of athletes use them and I don’t care.  Why don’t I care? Because I like to see bigger, stronger, faster athletes (with the exception of LeBron, he’s on something and I don’t like watching him).  Deep down none of us care that athletes are using steroids or what not.  We may act all holier than thou, but the truth is we don’t care.  Or rather, we don’t care to know.  We all know that the majority of professionals athletes are cheating, we just don’t want to know about it.  I’d rather be ignorant and watch the NFL be awesome.  I’d rather watch a bunch of home runs than singles and doubles.  I’d rather see alley-oops and crazy blocked shots than 12 foot jumpers (although that is sorely needed to make players better).  Excitement is where it’s at.  Do you honestly believe that the track and field competitors at the Olympics weren’t on drugs?  Come on guys, bodies evolve, but the speed and the look of these athletes screams “I just got a shot in my butt and I’m super strong.”  Victor Conte (of Balco and Barry Bonds fame) recently said he thinks 50% of the players in MLB are juicing (and I don’t mean the drinks).  I say that number is higher.  But I don’t care.  And deep down you don’t either.  Let ’em do what they want.  In the end it’s all just “fake” to the observer anyway, just like everything else on TV.  Give us our shows with the exciting parts and get rid of the slow unnecessary parts.  Give me the athletes on steroids that can do incredible things and get rid of the guys that look fresh out of the roaring 20’s.  There. I done said it.

More juice? Don’t mind if you do!

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The Day I Ran Out Of Internet…

A few days ago, I was bored out of my mind.  So naturally I surfed (cowabunga dude!) the internet.  I checked the sports sites, the news sites, the blogs, the entertainment sites, Facebook sucks, and everyone of my e-mails (yes I have a hotmail and yahoo account still, but no I do not check them but once every 3-4 months).  That took all of 30-45 minutes maybe.  Then, I was bored again.  Baseball and the Olympics being the only thing going on sports wise means the news is pretty boring in the sports world.  Internationally, people are still killing people and nobody really cares enough to help those who can’t defend themselves.  Entertainment wise, everybody is a tool.  Oh and apparently *NSYNC might be making a comeback.  The blogs are funny, but those provide temporary relief.  Facebook has been a snooze fest of late. And the e-mail accounts are 99.37% (pretty accurate measurement, I know) junk.  So there I was, out of things to do online.  I think back to what people did before the internet protected us from boredom and I honestly can’t remember what we would do.  Phone calls? Writing a letter? Drawing? Poetry? Listening to music? What the hell did we used to do when we didn’t have computers attached to us 24/7? I have no idea.  But I need to know ASAP.

The other day I ran out of internet… and I don’t know what to do and it scares me.  Sadface…

Where do I go from here? Helppp! I need somebody….Helpp! Not just anyyybodddy… Help!!! You know I need someoneeeee…..

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Let’s Hope He Can

Wow.  News last night had the Washington Redskins trading 3 First Round Draft Picks and a 2nd Round Pick to the St. Louis Rams for this years number 2 overall pick (the most 1st rounders ever traded for one pick).  Looks like the ‘Skins will be taking RG3 with the pick (or Andrew Luck if the Colts don’t draft him, yeah right).  RG3 fits perfectly into Coach Shanahan’s offense being the mobile quarterback that he is with a strong arm.  Look for the Redskins to be aggressive players in the wide receiver free agent market (hello Vincent Jackson or Marques Colston).  As a ‘Skins fan I’m happy we might be finally getting a good QB, but it seems like a lot to give up for one guy.  Here’s to hoping he doesn’t turn out to be this year’s Ryan Leaf.  Hail to the Redskins…

Just let him live in the White House too! RG3 in 2012!

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Oh the Places He Can Go…

At some point before the March 8th (most likely early today) deadline for his $28 million bonus, Peyton Manning will be cut by the Indianapolis Colts.  I’ll save all the tearful goodbyes and reminiscing to someone else.  I’m here to try and start figuring out where he ends up next.  The frontrunners for his services belong to the Miami Dolphins (is he taking his talents to South Beach?) and the Washington Redskins (ironically, the team that actually started his whole injury problem).  The not so frontrunners include the Seattle Seahawks (Let him join Beastmode), Arizona Cardinals (Kevin Kolb who?), New York Jets (Sanchez sucks) and the Tennessee Titans (Play the Colts twice in a season, yes please?). For my money, the real 2 options come down to the best places to live out of these teams, so here we go.

"It's down to 2 teams guys! Hut, hut, HIKE"

Why Miami?  It’s Miami, the weather is nice, they have a nice core of skill players (Reggie Bush, Brandon Marshall, Devon Bess), a young offensive line, and the defense improved throughout the season.  The weather is nice there (except for the hot ass summers) and there are tons of things to do at night (pretty sure that’s not what Peyton does). Why not Miami? He’d have to play Tom Brady twice a year, they might be a few years away, and their fans aren’t very knowledgeable and are front runners (see the Miami Heat and the Marlins when they make the playoffs).

Why Washington? The nation’s capital.  One of the best defenses in the NFL.  Lots of money.  Traffic.  Solid nightlife.  All 4 seasons.  That’s about it. Oh and lots of money. What can money do? It can get him some of his old buddies like Reggie Wayne and Jeff Saturday.  With the cap space and the fact that Dan Snyder has never been shy to spend, the ‘Skins could give Manning the Colts version 2.0 with a better, younger defense.  Why not DC? He’d be playing in one of the toughest divisions in football, he’d play his brother Eli twice a year, and he’d be playing for the Devil’s nephew, Dan Snyder.

Who gets the edge? It’s all gonna depend on who Peyton wants to bring along with him.  If he wants some old friends and a boatload of money, the Redskins have an edge, if he wants younger talent around him and one of the best club scenes in America, the Dolphins get the edge.  Obviously after speaking to Manning (that didn’t actually happen), he didn’t tell me anything either way.  Watch him pick a team I didn’t even talk about.  The team that does land him will instantly be a legit contender for their division at the very least, and in lesser ways a Super Bowl threat.

In 1998, he was taken first overall, 14 years later he’s being cut to save $28 million.  One of the greatest NFL players of all time is getting cut, and I’m not gonna lie, it makes plenty of ‘Cents.’

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100 points, 50 years later

Today marks the 50th anniversary when Wilt ‘The Big Dipper’ Chamberlain scored 100 points against the New York Knicks in Hershey, Pennsylvania.  50 years have come and gone, and the record still stands (much to Kobe Bryant’s chagrin). With the way athletes are conditioned with ‘swag’ and ‘attitude’ these days, it’s very unlikely for this record to ever be broken because nobody wants to be punked (remember when Justin Timberlake was Punk’d, that was hilarious, but a totally different kind of punking).  The closest anyone has gotten to this record is the aforementioned Kobe ‘Black Mamba’ Bryant when he scored 81 against the Toronto Raptors in 2006 (what a ballhog, 81? Geez man, pass the damn ball). To me though, this isn’t even Wilt’s most impressive record. That award would belong to the amount of sexual conquests he had, over 20,000 to be exact.  From his 1991 biography, “A View From Above,” Wilt openly discussed the relationships he had with all the random women he met over the years. Not only was he good with the ladies, but apparently he was real good at math too:

“Yes, that’s correct, twenty thousand different ladies. At my age, that equals out to having sex with 1.2 women a day, every day since I was fifteen years old.”

20,000! Bro, that’s a whole ‘nother record that won’t soon be broken.  So while people are celebrating the 100 points, let us remember that Wilt was more than a basketball player…he was also a playa!  Wilt died at the age of 63 (RIP), alone, unmarried, unengaged, and a self proclaimed bachelor for life. In the end, we all die alone (think about it).

(I wonder if he did a picture with 20,000 on it?)

Back to basketball though, is there anybody in the NBA that can get to 100? Kobe, LeBron, KD? I don’t think so, but tell me what you guys think by commenting below (not that I really care about what you think or anything, but I wanna make fun of somebody).  So today, I salute you Wilt, for owning 2 of the most impressive records on the planet. If you’re gonna be the best, be the best at EVERYTHING you do, I DONE SAID IT!

 

 

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