Tag Archives: no service

No Service

No I am not referring to idiots that walk into fancy restaurants without shoes or a shirt on.  This is about cell phone providers, mainly AT&T, or as I’m starting to call it AT&Sucks.  What the hell is up with all of the dropped calls lately?  Maybe y’all need to stop spending less money on advertising and a little more on cell phone towers.  I’m getting sick of seeing  “No Service” in the top left corner of my iPhone.  I’d call to make a complaint, but I’m pretty sure that I’d get halfway and then I’d lose connection.  So instead I’ll rant about how shitty AT&Sucks has been lately.  The following has become the standard for my phone conversations:

Me- Hey, what’s up (insert random conversation)

Other Person – Hello? Hello? Yo you there?

Me- HELLO? HEY CAN YOU HERE ME! (looking at phone, went from full bars of service to NO bars of service despite not having moved)

Other Person – HELLO?

Me – I’m here!! Don’t leave me alone! I’m lonely! I’m scared! Help Me!! (ok so that’s a bit of an exaggeration but you get the point)

Phone – BEEP BEEP BEEP (with the message CALL FAILURE)

Hey assholes, fix this shit.  Seriously, I’m paying enough for the damn service that this shit shouldn’t happen.  It’s not like I am inside an underground cave (contrary to popular belief I am not Batman…and I know Batman would also say he’s not Batman to throw you off, but for real I ain’t Batman…or am I?).  So to anyone who has called me and it seems like I just hung up in your face, it’s really my phone.  Or it might be me pretending it’s my phone because I didn’t want to talk to you.  Hmm on second thought, maybe shitty cell service isn’t bad after all.  Nah I’m playing, I can pretend to drop a call without the help of horrible service (imagine me making the crazy kshhhsksshhh sound to seem like I’m losing service).  So AT&Sucks, how about working on making the network good and stop lying in your commercials.  I’m only still with you guys because I am loyal to the damn iPhone (only because I don’t want to learn to use another phone….yes I am lazy).  If anybody works for AT&T, make sure you show them this rant, I have billions (more like 5…not 5 billion…just 5) of followers, and we want our voices to be heard (mainly my voice).

Hmm, maybe that’s my problem, all this time I thought my shoe was an iPhone…ahaha silly me!!


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