Tag Archives: leg room

NASA Is Back!

So after nothing cool happening from NASA in a while, they landed the Curiosity rover on Mars this morning at 1:33 AM.  The purpose of this “mission” is to drive a cool ass robot on another planet and tell all your friends about it…ok that isn’t really the purpose.  They are trying to assess whether or not the planet can be inhabitable.  Say whattttt??? That’s right!! I’m a be booking my ticket to Mars soon! Woohoo!  Well in theory it sounds cool.  That is, until you start looking at the logistics of the whole thing.  Let me start by saying its a 352 million mile trip (one way!), and you thought going to Disney World driving sucked?!  That ride alone would void the manufacturer’s warranty on whatever spaceship you buy.  Next on the “this isn’t as cool as it first sounded” list is that this trip STARTED November 26, 2011.  That was about NINE (9 for those of you who can’t read) months ago!!  Assuming that you aren’t going to Mars alone (unless there are hot single alien chicks there), then imagine being in a shuttle for 9 months with some annoying people! Have you ever flown anywhere?  That inevitable stinky passenger next to you, the little baby crying the whole flight, the lack of leg room…the horrendous possibilities are endless.  So best case scenario is the Mars is inhabitable right?  Then what? We go there and start building?  OK SIGN ME UP…like that’s gonna happen.  Who is gonna sign up to go build shit on freaking Mars?  Why don’t they just build stuff here on Earth? Not enough jobs. Dang, that economy is killing everything.  Ok fine, we go to Mars and build and live there.  Really cool stuff.  Do they have internet?  Do they have electricity?  Will Mars have running water?  Let’s say the answer is yes to all of those. The real question is, how the hell do we get back to Earth if we don’t like it on Mars?  Anyone have an answer to that?  We’d be stuck.  Forever.  Unless the aliens from Space Jam can give us a ride, we are screwed.  So as “cool” as the Curiosity rover mission is, it’s really all for nothing.  We can learn all we want about Mars and whether or not people can live on it, but remember we haven’t even sent people (non astronaut people) to VISIT the moon (still don’t think anyone has ever been there, conspiracies galore!).  The rover Curiosity is nothing more than a glorified remote control car that is chilling where there aren’t any people saying, “you can’t use that thing here!”  Curiosity may indeed tell us if Mars is inhabitable or not, but remember “Curiosity killed the cat” and although I have no idea what cat was killed, I’m allergic to cats so I’m kinda cool with it.  But you know what I won’t be cool with?  Aliens on Mars killing people.  That just won’t be cool at all.

Curiosity…wait a damn minute! Let me find out that NASA sent WALL-E to Mars and this is all a crazy sequel…

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