Tag Archives: kobe bryant

Dwight-mare Over

Well it finally happened.  Dwight Howard got traded.  And I can tell you this, the Orlando Magic got screwed.  Because D-Ho was being a douche for the past year, he pretty much ruined any kind of trade value the Magic could have gotten.  Why? Because everybody knew he wanted out of town.  Look, I understand that Bore-lando sucks.  You’ve got Disney World and Universal Studios (the Harry Potter rides are pretty legit).  That’s pretty much it.  So they traded him for whatever they could get apparently, which amounted to a Little Tikes basketball hoop, NBA Live ’95, 2 free flights on Southwest Airlines, and the ability to pick first in this years NBA Fantasy Football Draft (Pretty sure they are gonna take Aaron Rodgers!).

So let’s talk for real in what happened in this 4 team mega trade. Here is who got what:

Lakers – Dwight Howard

76ers – Andrew Bynum, Jason Richardson

Nuggets – Andre Iguadola

Magic – Aaron Afflalo, Al Harrington, 3 PROTECTED first round picks (in all honesty I’d have rather had the package that got me 2 free flights on Southwest with NBA Live ’95)

Yes their were other small bit players in this trade, but one that actually mean anything.  This trade was pure bullshit.  If you offer that trade in a video game, the computer probably fines you.  What I wanna know is what naked pictures of the Orlando Magic owner did these other teams have.  This trade strengthens every team EXCEPT, wait for it, the Orlando Magic.  So the Magic trade away the best player in this whole 4 team deal, and end up with the worst deal? What in the hell is going on here?!!  I’m pretty much gonna have to watch the Lakers and Heat on TV all season next year, this is gonna suck so bad.  Hey NBA, just get rid of all but like 8 teams, if trades like this are gonna keep happening.  It’s not worth the fan-vestment for all the other cities.

Ugh this just sickens me. (Pic from ESPN.com)

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Dream Team Debate

Recently Kobe Bryant said he thinks that the current Team USA could beat the Dream Team from the ’92 Olympics.  Many people have chimed in on this already, but let’s be honest, my opinion is the only one that really matters.  In saying that, I would also like to say that Kobe Bryant is an idiot if he actually believes that.  Seriously Kobe, shut the hell up.  I will provide a player by player analysis comparing similar players from each team to evaluate who I think (and obviously I’m gonna be correct on this shit) would win that individual battle.  Then we can tally up all the wins and losses and see who should in theory win that game.  Here we go:

  • Starting PG – Magic Johnson vs. Chris Paul.  I don’t care if Magic had syphilis, chlamydia, and herpes to go along with HIV, he still is a better player than CP3 and his size alone would cause a huge mismatch problem.  Yeh CP3 is fast, but that’s what help defense is for.  I don’t see CP3 ripping Magic and scoring any easy buckets.  Oh Magic hadn’t played in a year? Your point? That previous year he took his team to the Finals.  Not even close.  Edge: Dream Team.
  • Starting SG – Michael Jordan vs. Kobe Bryant.  Hey Kobe, you asked for it, you would absolutely get murdered.  Kobe has copied Jordan his whole career but he will never be Jordan.  MJ in a landslide.  Edge: Dream Team
  • Starting SF – Charles Barkley vs. Carmelo Anthony.  Sir Charles dominate Melo.  Chuck plays physical defense, and is a punisher on offense.  Remember this is Chuck in his best condition as a professional ball player.  Melo is lazy, and is a volume scorer.  That’s great when you are the only star on your team, but not so great if you are amongst stars. Edge: Dream Team
  • Starting PF – Karl Malone vs. LeBron James.  Ok so some would say that LBJ could be the 3, but either way whether he’s the 3 or 4, he is gonna win that battle and whoever the other forward position is would lose.  It’s alot closer than you would think because LBJ has never had to guard people of this caliber on defense then have to actually have the size and athleticism match up on him offensively.  Edge: 2012
  • Starting C – Patrick Ewing vs Tyson Chandler.  Really? Ewing would make Chandler inefficient.  Chandler defends around the hoop, Ewing is best facing the rim from 8-12 feet out. Edge: Dream Team
  • Bench PG – John Stockton vs Russel Westbrook.  Stockton is one of the best PG of all time, but he never had to face anyone with the speed and athleticism at the point like Westbrook.  In a one on one game, Westbrook wins easily, in a TEAM game Stockton dominates because of court vision and ability to not turn the ball over or take dumb shots.  Edge: Even
  • Bench Wing – Clyde Drexler vs. Andre Iguodola.  Clyde.  All day.  Every day. Are you freaking kidding me.  Edge: Dream Team
  • Bench Wing – Chris Mullin vs. Kevin Durant.  The dream needed some shooters, Mullin was one of em.  Kevin Durant is incredible tho.  Durantulla dominates this.  Edge: 2012
  • Bench Wing – Scottie Pippen vs James Harden.  Yeh I thought so, Pip running away with this.  Edge: Dream Team
  • Bench – Larry Bird vs. Deron Williams.  I love Larry Legend.  Even when he was old he was doin THANGS.  Williams is a good PG, but in a shooting contest who do you pick?  Shit in a game of one on one who do you pick?  Yep, the Hick from French Lick.  Edge: Dream Team.
  • Bench Post – David Robinson vs. Kevin Love.  I love me some Kevin Love, but the Admiral in his prime would demolish him.  Edge: Dream Team
  • Bench College Player – Christian Laettner vs Anthony Davis.  Dukie was the better offensive player, but Anthony Davis athletically is a freak.  I would easily pick Davis.  It has nothing to do with the fact that I hate Duke either.  Edge: 2012

12 players.  9 wins for the Dream Team.  3 wins for the 2012 team.  The problem is 2 of those wins were bench players.  So if you shorten the bench, they might not even be wins.  Hell if you switch the lineups some you could say that if you matched MJ on LBJ and a Pip in his prime defensively on Kobe, that they’d win those battles too.  Even still, LBJ and KD are the only 2 (Kobe 4 years ago, not now) that could earn a spot on the team right now.

When Larry Bird was told of Kobe’s comments, he replied, “They probably could. I haven’t played in 20 years and we’re all old now.”  If we go off of trash talk, the Dream Team would win there too.

Seriously, why the hell was Christian Laettner on this team. They REALLY didn’t want Isiah on this team huh.

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