Tag Archives: idiots

Bumper Stickers

I see you on cars and I immediately think 5 things:

  1. That’s gonna hurt the re-sale value of your car.
  2. You aren’t really that ignorant to believe that?
  3. Your kid stole that sticker from the smart kid.
  4. Oh that’s clever/funny (sarcastic tone).
  5. Don’t lie to us, you really don’t believe in “coexist”ing

Can anybody actually tell me why people still put these damn things on their car?  It’s distracting to me as the guy following you.  Why? Because I feel compelled to read that shit, even though I know I don’t give a damn.  So yes, “if I’m reading this” I’m “probably too close” and yes I might honk, but not because “I love ta-ta’s.”  Please people, just stop putting shit on your car.  Our society is already stupid and distracted enough while driving.  I can manage reading your shit and driving, but that shit-tard that was texting while driving in 2 lanes simultaneously obviously cannot.  And I don’t care that he/she thinks your puppies are adorable, or that those stick figures you have of your imaginary family on your mini-van is cute.  Most likely you are a horrible driver, and you are genuinely not clever, AND the people driving around you are idiots with well documented driving skills.  So before we start outlawing texting and driving or playing Words with Friends or Angry Birds while driving, we really need to get rid of ALL bumper stickers.  Umm, that pretty much sums it up, I done said it.

This is what your shit looks like to me…

 

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Plane Flight…

Hey guys! I’m back! I know you missed me…YES YOU DID you assholes!!  Anyways was gone out of town on a vacation/destination wedding (congrats Sup Sup and Yoda).  Now I’m back, tan, and refreshed.  Well I’m still tired and jet-lagged but refreshed in the greater sense of the word.  If you’ve ever been at the airport during a holiday weekend, I’m sure your first thoughts are “I’m never doing this shit again.”  So after that passes through your head, you just sit back and enjoy the annoyingness that is airports, TSA, and idiot travelers that surround you (because at least in my case, I know I’m not an idiot).  So time for me to go off on the aforementioned areas of travel.  And with that, BOOM (I say that a lot now), here we go:

  1. Airports – Seriously, there has got to be a better design for flow, both from a dropping off/picking up perspective to just the general flow of travelers.  Look airlines, the reason there is such a long line at the kiosks is because people are stupid.  Always have been, always will be.  They are gonna wait until you come and help them remember their names before they just click on the damn screen.  Fix this shit.  Get more people to help around there.  Make it more like the DMV, give out numbers for those waiting if necessary, since people can’t understand the concept of filling in empty gaps.
  2. TSA – Add more security lines.  200 people and 2 lines is not gonna cut it.  There is no worse way to waste an hour than to wait in the security line (and in my case always get called for a “random” screening and special “pat down,” so what if I like it, don’t judge me!).  Some of them are really nice, and some TSA employees are annoying sacks of shit.  I’m sure this blog is gonna get me put back on the “no fly list.”  Why was I on that list to begin with? Oh you know because I fly a lot…oh and I have a Middle Eastern name and a beard.  So let’s stop with the “random” shit and just make a separate line for people like me if you have to.  If it means I don’t gotta wait twice I’m all for it (keep the “pat downs” please).
  3. Idiots – If you ever feel society has advanced, step outside your house an interact with a person.  Any person.  Then realize that you were wrong.  Completely wrong.  If you really wanna see idiots in action, go to the airport and subsequently get on a plane (WITH a ticket, don’t be THAT guy).  An exchange between the flight attendant and an idiot:  FA “Sir wheels out on the bag please” Idiot (precedes to put bag in sideways) FA “Sir, wheels out, we need the space” Idiot “I can’t take the wheels out, they don’t disconnect” (gives flight attendant a death stare and rolls his eyes) FA “You’ve got to be kidding me!” (moves bag the right way).  I watched this with sheer enjoyment and sadness as I realized it was both funny and sad/scary that people such as this asshole exist.  If you had no idea what “wheels out” meant and are somehow in anyway a friend, acquaintance, or know anybody who knows me, please, stop talking to me or any people I know right now.

There you have it folks, my travel experience.  I’m no Frommer but dammit, I keep shit real. Whenever you can, drive (because there aren’t a plethora of morons on the road, please note the sarcasm there).  BOOM! I done said it.

My beard isn’t quite as full, and I don’t wear that hat. Or carry that thing in my right hand. But other than that, spot on mate! (No idea why I said “mate” there, I am not Australian)

And just for fun, I’ll give you another picture today:

I thought we were facing “tough times,” where the hell is everybody going!?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Nod and Smile

You know that person, the one that nods their head when you are explaining something to them as if they understand.  At work it’s usually something they have messed up over AND over again, and when you try to tell them about it, they are just staring off into space nodding as if they get what you’re saying.  Then 10 minutes later, they mess it up again.  Or it’s that friend in your group project at school, the one you are explaining that they have to do the introduction and conclusion for the report.  They nod away, yet still, they somehow forget or completely do something that has nothing to do with your overall project.  Perhaps it’s that friend, that for some reason keeps messing shit up for you (in any means of life work/school/relationships). When you explain to them they gotta stop what they are doing to sabotage you, they just nod and are like “yeh for sure.”  To all of the aforementioned people, F$&^ you.  Seriously.  Listen to what the hell we have to say the first time and don’t mess it up again.  If I see your ass nodding and smiling when I’m telling you something, please expect something to get thrown at your candy ass (Rock reference due to the violence that will ensue).  I feel like I’m in the movie Rush Hour when Chris Tucker is talking with Jackie Chan saying “do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouuuuuuth?”  Your dumbass is just standing there smiling, but you have no idea what I’ve actually said.  So to all you idiot douchebags who are guilty of this, STOP.  Just stop it now.  One day, someone will flip out on you.  Honestly, it’s liable to be me really soon.  And you will deserve everything that you get for being stupid.  Listen and follow.  Then you can go nod and smile while looking at a mirror.  See how stupid you look to the rest of the world.  World, please don’t become “these people” (what do you mean “these people?”). Also, punch “these people” when you get a chance (in the face or the gut, it doesn’t matter), maybe it’ll deter them from being morons later on.

(You knew I was gonna link it)

Pretty much how it goes. Now if only I could find a ladder to push people off of when they don’t listen

-You can follow me on Twitter @idonesaidit

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Dumb People

Yep, today’s topic is dumb people. Or stupid.  Or idiots.  However you want to refer to them.  Chances are that some of you reading this fall into this population base.  So I (pretend to) apologize in advance.  A friend of mine sent me a video (which I will show to you) about these 2 idiots that put an infant in a washing machine at the laundromat.  Yeh, you didn’t read that wrong, they put the kid in a washer. Let it settle.  You can even pause to watch the video……..And we’re back.  How did that make you feel?  Like a genius? Perhaps.  In what situation is putting a child in a washing machine ok?  Somebody please let me know.  Anyone? THERE ISN’T A SITUATION WHERE THAT IS OK!!!  Holy hell, is the world really that stupid.  Why are the dumb people ruining our lives?  I’m not saying I’m smart (actually I’m a freaking genius), but damn, shit like that just isn’t right.  So watch the video again.  If you know these people, punch them in the face the next time you see them.  If you know people that are LIKE these people, you may also punch them in the face.  Fight Stupid! Fight Dumb! Fight Idiots!  If we don’t they will just multiply.  Proactiveness is the only way.  Next time you see dumb shit, try to correct it.  If that means making fun of the person for being stupid, then so be it (but at least try to tell ’em why they can’t do that first).  If it means slapping the shit out of an idiot, then by all means do it (expect jail time or a lawsuit thought).  But don’t just stand there and do nothing about it. Together we can fix this (God I hope I’m right).

I wonder if this would actually work…..

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