Tag Archives: food

Rama-Diary Day 2 (or 3)

I’m still alive Alhamdillah (Praise be to God).  Day 1 (or 2) went as expected. Tired, thirsty, hungry, not hungry or thirsty, still tired. It all hits at about 3 PM and then just loops until you eat.  The vicious cycle.  Day 2 (or 3) is pretty much the same.  Walked by coworkers eating food and drinking their delicious watery looking water (how else does water look?). Anyway, I’m not hungry, but I am having visions of pizza, steak, hamburgers, cookies, biscuits, ice cream, and much much more dance through my head (if you’ve ever fasted you know exactly what I am talking about).  My brain knows I can’t eat, so it’s just cycling through the catalog of all the possible foods in the world (A hamburger with cookies as a bun? SURE, why not!?).

Things I remembered not to do again, although I’ve told myself from all the previous years before not to do them, but will inevitably end up doing possibly as soon as today include:

  • Going to a grocery store during lunch time, wow I wanted to buy everything.  (Side note Hebrew National has 97% fat free hot dogs that are 45 calories now and taste just like the regular ones, which is phenomenal.  This right now is my top moment for the year, 2013 so far you are winning the last decade)
  • Taking a nap before it’s time to eat, but waking up with 30 minutes left.  You wake up hungrier, and you become tireder (is that really a word?).
  • Sleeping early.  My intention was there, it just never happened, still stayed up late.  Such a good planner, just the execution needs work.
  • Walking into a kitchen with food cooking 30 mins before it’s time to eat.  Smells delicious, but hurts my feelings that I can’t eat.  Be ON TIME, not early, not late, ON TIME.
  • Get close to the door at Taraweeh, for ventilation purposes, both cooling and smell wise (you ALL know what I’m talking about).

Iftar last night: Chicken, corn, leftover pasta, 3 bottles of water.

Suhoor: Protein Bar, Banana, 1 bottle of water, 2 cups of ice water (only ONE Pee break!!)

Here’s to today being a shorter day than yesterday (we eat one minute earlier suckers!!). Day 2 (or 3) I got you  son!

Hasn’t happened yet!! Still 27/28 (or 26/27) days left though.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

It’s Back!

What’s back?  Endless Shrimp at Red Lobster, that’s what!  Why am I so excited? Because I love SKRIMP…no seriously I love shrimp.  So yep, it’s back, and I’ve already been there once (emphasis on once so far, because I will be going back, please believe).  So I’m about to give you the tips to a successful Endless Shrimp trip to Red Lobster.  Pay close attention and let the deliciousness soak in.

  1. Avoid the Cheddar Bay Biscuits until after you receive your first order of shrimp.  I know it’s hard, but trust me the payoff is worth the agonizing minutes of staring at delicious hot biscuits (tell them to bring them out later if you can’t resist the temptations).
  2. When it comes time to order sides, avoid getting both sides at the same time.  Tell them to bring them out with the different orders of shrimp.
  3. Start with the heavier options of shrimp first (if you plan on getting the heavy options).  You can always squeeze in more of the lighter options at the end.
  4. When you are ordering your initial 2 choices, ask the waiter/waitress if you can go ahead and give them your next options so that when they bring your first options out, they can enter in the “refills.”  If you fail to do this, the waiter/waitress will disappear and they will pretty much count on your body to shut down and you to not get any refills.
  5. When in doubt keep eating.  Ok, not really, unless you are really trying to get a personal best of shrimp eating.  Sometimes your body will tell you when to stop while your brain fights that feeling of projectile vomit.  One of my friends once had 140 shrimp at an Endless Shrimp binge.  I am still proud of him til this day for this accomplishment more than anything else he’s done in his life.
  6. Order just a little more than you can eat and convince the servers to give you a to go box by showing them you’ve eaten from what they brought out.  Boom, lunch the next day!

So there you have it folks, my personal guide to defeating Endless Shrimp.  You can obviously make your own adjustments but eat as much as you can!  Oh and make sure you ask them what options there are that aren’t on the menu aka the secret shrimp.  For all the SKRIMP lovers like me, enjoy your feast!

Limited time only because they are gonna have a limit for how many times they let me in their establishment! SKRIMP!!!

 

 

Tagged , , , , ,

The Hungry Games…

Today marks the first day of Ramadan, the Holy Month for Muslims all over the world.  For those of you who actually know a muslim or two, you know what this means.  From dawn until sunset (whenever it is light outside for those of you who are bad with time) muslims must refrain from eating, drinking (yes that includes water), and having sex (yep, that’s right, no day time hanky panky) for a whole month. This is known as fasting. But read that again, I didn’t say they can’t eat or drink for a month, I said they can’t eat or drink from dawn until sunset for a month.  If you are still confused, please stop reading this now and start reading Green Eggs and Ham (ham, is forbidden to eat for Muslims) at page 8 so that the story is ruined for you. So if you hear someone say they are fasting, just know that it is not some new P90x ultra workout.  So for those of you who don’t have any personal muslim friends, but can recognize them as if you were working airport security for the TSA, please make note.  The reason those brown people/covered ladies/bearded dudes/ay-rabs/mozlims aren’t having lunch isn’t because they are plotting to take over the world.  It’s because they are offering a form of submission to God.  Speaking of God, the word for God in Arabic is Allah.  That’s right, Allah isn’t a separate God, he is God.  Just like queso means cheese in Spanish, this is just a translation.  So ignorant people, PLEASE pick up on that.  Other important qualities Muslims must adhere to during this month include abstaining from lying (pretty sure everyone should do this)and learning how to be patient (again, everyone should jump on this train).  So what is so special about this particular month (which moves every year folks, based off of the Lunar Calendar)?  To Muslims, the month of Ramadan is the month the Holy Quran was revealed, that is why it is so important.  The Quran is the Muslim people’s Bible.  I am no scholar, and I won’t pretend to be, but that’s just a simplistic perspective for you guys.

So here comes the fun stuff. Let’s talk about what tends to happen during Ramadan.  I’ll go list format because it’s easier and I’m lazy.

  • Some fasting Muslims will be very cranky in the first week.  People need their coffee.  They may not be friendly.  Avoid annoying fasting people in the morning.
  • Although Muslims fast to teach them how those who are less fortunate are, at night, all bets are off.  If you’re wondering why your Muslim friend described a feast for the last 3 days, it’s because they had a feast the last 3 days.  30 days to be exact.
  • Your fasting friends will constantly check the clock.  As they check the clock, you will hear them mumble things like “man I’m so hungry” or “I just need water, the food thing doesn’t even bother me”
  • At some point a non-Muslim will say they will fast with a Muslim co-worker or friend.  This will last all of 3 hours until that person “accidentally” drinks some water.  They will then say it’s too late and will go out to lunch with other non fasting people.
  • Fasters will hear from non-fasters “I don’t know how you do it” or  “you look tired/sick you should drink a little bit of water.”
  • If you’re Muslim, all of a sudden you will be invited out to lunch by so many people who have never so much as offered you a piece of gum. Suddenly corporations will have sponsored lunches for an entire month.  Suddenly that girl next to you in class will offer you a candy bar to eat every single day, when she’d never done such a thing. Ever (thanks for that Jennifer).  Suddenly everyone wants to eat lunch at work.  They will drink that Gatorade in the middle of a conversation.  They will eat that burger as they “work” during lunch.  Nothing you can do about it my fasting compadres.  That. Just. Happened.

Islam (the arabic word for submission or peace) is the second largest religion in the world.  It is also the fastest growing religion in the world.  To all the non-Muslims who read this, know that the more you learn about people, the easier it is to understand them.  For all the Muslim people who read this, have a blessed month of Ramadan, and know that not everyone understands your religion just like you won’t understand theres.  Do what you can to teach people about yourself and your beliefs and learn what you can about people who are different than you so that you can understand where they are coming from.  Building bridges since Lego’s in 1985 (I’m guestimating that to be when I first started using Lego’s).

If you’re fasting, try your best to be kind, honest, and approachable.  Achieve what you can out of your Holy Month people.  Don’t just be of those who only get hunger and thirst from this Ramadan.  16 hours of not eating or drinking.  Eek, if I turn off the lights and hide under my blanket can I drink something??

Grrr…you have to be nice to this guy. But man, the day after Ramadan is over you’re goin’ down!

 

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Wedding Season…

So I’m going to another friend’s wedding this weekend (actually 2 of my friends are marrying each other).  It’s summer time so I’m sure everybody has been to one or two weddings already.  Weddings are fun to go to but can also be annoying to attend.  Today, I will break down what’s fun, and what’s annoying.  To my boy getting married this weekend, make sure I have fun or I will make sure to blog about it (kidding….or am I?).  Obviously this is all coming from my perspective (which is ALWAYS the RIGHT perspective), so if you disagree, oh well, I guess it sucks to be you.

Fun

  • Dancing
  • Seeing people happy (unless you’re a habitual hater, then this part sucks for you…yes I’m a hater but I appreciate happiness)
  • Good music
  • The “memories” factor – you know when something really funny happens and you will talk about it for years
  • Making fun of bad dancers
  • Making fun of people in general
  • Good food
  • Potential for a choreographed dance (seriously people, this can take your wedding from a 7  rating to like a 10)
  • The Cupid Shuffle/Electric Slide (every wedding should have one of these songs)
  • That one crazy old man (father/uncle/grandfather/random family friend) who ends up dancing with a cane/stick/umbrella

Annoying

  • Bad music
  • Lack of people having fun
  • Bad food
  • Bad dancers who take up WAYYYY too much of the dance floor
  • Random uncles/parents/neighbors/family friends constantly asking when are you going to get married.
  • Haters – the ones who didn’t want to be at the wedding but solely came to just put on a damn angry face and hate on the bride and groom
  • Children – look people, I love kids, I operate on their brain level, but nothing is more annoying than a crying kid or multiple children running all over the dance floor (exceptions are immediate family members, but they are still annoying)
  • That one person who thinks they are on “America’s Got Talent” and dances as if they are going to win an award.  First off, everybody is making fun of you, second off, you aren’t that good (exceptions are bride and groom, they can do whatever the hell they want, it’s their night).
  • Wedding crashers – the movie was great, but in reality not so much.  Don’t be a douche, you weren’t invited for a reason.
  • Speeches.  Yep wedding speeches are annoying, they just interrupt the party (unless the speech is hilarious, then I will allow it).  Most of the time it’s someone blabbing off inside jokes that no one will get and it’s just painful.

So to my friends getting married this weekend, CONGRATS Aziz and Dana!! And to my friends getting married later in the year or next year or the years to come, just re-read this for my fun vs. annoying commentary so that you can make your wedding amazing.

Holy shit! They had bubbles at their wedding!! That looks like so much fun. Add bubbles to the ‘fun’ list! HAVE BUBBLES PEOPLE!!!

(Now this is funny for many reasons, one being white people are funny to laugh at when they dance, and two being that it says they practiced this the night before…you shouldn’t have to “practice” the Cupid Shuffle the night before…come on white people, this is why people make fun of your dancing!)

Tagged , , , , , ,