Tag Archives: ESPN

The Monday After…

So apparently I’ve turned my blog into an NC State Men’s Basketball blog for the time being.  Deal with it.  So we beat the pretentious assholes from up the road on Saturday 91-83 in a game that honestly wasn’t that close.  Yeh UNC hit some shots to draw to 5 but I can honestly say that at no point did I feel like we were gonna lose that game, and rightfully so, the superior team won.  Some quick points from the game:

  • When NC State plays defense, they are one of the top 5 teams in the country, hands down.  The problem is the whole playing defense thing,  as evidenced by the 57 point second half by UNC that cut a 28 point lead to 8.  When the Wolfpack play defense, they are tough to beat, but they need to learn to play it for 40 minutes and not just 27-32.
  • UNC Coach Roy Williams is still a horrible coach.  He may be a great recruiter but he is a stubborn idiot.  There were many times State was taking it to the Heels and he refused to call a timeout.  It cost ya bro.
  • Roy also is a horrible evaluator of talent on his own team.  There is no reason Hairston shouldn’t have played more.  He was on fire, 19 points in only 17 minutes of play, and he consistently got open looks (part of that is our horrible defense).  I want to know what his excuse for not playing him is.
  • Carolina sucks.  Seriously, they are not a good team.  Their leader James Michael MacAdoo or however you spell it is limited.  He can’t shoot a jumper, he has no low post game, he pretty much can dunk the ball.  Son you should have gone Pro last year when people would have thought you were all potential, now it’s easy to see that you’ve got a lot of work to do.

Now to the post game situations, AKA Twitter and Facebook.  In case any of us were wondering about UNC’s history (and I’m not talking about African American Studies/History classes), every Carolina fan was quick to bust out stats of games from 1776 when America was still in it’s infancy as a nation.  As a fan base, I know State fans can be annoying, but damn if UNC fans don’t take the cake. We aren’t your rivals, we get it, yet you guys are the ones that keep talking about it not us.  Just shut up and hope that your coach learns to coach his team.  I feel a Coach K mystery (yep I still feel K knew his team was gonna suck so he decided to sit one out) back injury coming soon for Roy where he has to sit out a year for his horrible team, only to have it backfire because the guy taking over knows how to actually coach.  Am I a hater? Yes.  Is the truth sometimes confused with hate? Yes.  Am I spitting out truth right now? Yes.

So now let’s talk about a team that actually matters, NC State.  Guys, I’d like to think that you guys read my previous post on NC State Shit and got your shit together, but apparently we need to work on retention.  Our lack of depth might hurt us against certain teams (coughMiamicough), but for the most part the 6 we play are better than the 6 any other team can trot out there.  We just need to get in better shape to play that kind of defense for 40 minutes, it all starts at the gym, with the Coach (also Coach Gott, you could use a timeout every once in a while to give the guys a break).  What I saw was an engaged bunch of kids that blew out a team that talks a lot of trash to the media (Hey Dexter Strickland, nice layup bro!) because their defense was elite for once (for 60% of the game at least).

Leaving points:

  • Don’t blow it against UVA, they have a good defense, but our offense is better.  Defend the perimeter, call out ball screens, keep your hands up (“hand down, man down”), hustle and REBOUND.
  • Don’t get caught looking ahead to Miami, they are gonna be a tough team, but we haven’t proven that we are even ALLOWED to look ahead to other games, one game at a time.
  • Freshmen, please, please, please, work on your free throws.  I’m looking at you TJ and Rodney.
  • When we are getting pressed, please everyone pay attention, the concept that the ball might be coming to you should not be a surprise.  It’s not that hard, they are playing defense, the ball might come to you, actually attempt to know that.
  • Again, the word I use to describe what we should do most is just CARE.  CARE to do the little things, 30 minutes a game isn’t going to cut it, 35 might, let’s try that then we can be lazy again….

Go to Hell Carolina, Roll Pack, WOLFPACK, and whatever else you wanna say, “when we hungry, we eat!”

This poor, poor kid… YAMMMED on….Ouch

 

 

 

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N.C. State Shit…

First off, I know I haven’t done one of these in a while, I’ve been busy getting old and shit.  Second, I know the Super Bowl is coming up, and I’ll hit on that in the next week or so.   So for all you sports lovers, I’ll be giving my end all be all opinion that is actual fact because what I say is actually the only thing that really matters.  But I digress. Today I write about something that I’ve mentioned before.  Something that has plagued my sports fan life.  My love for my University and therefor my undying love for it’s basketball team.  If you aren’t from North Carolina, you probably have no idea what the hell I’m talking about.  So let me learn you something right fast.  Sit back read on, and as my man Kevin Hart said “you goin’ learn today!”

N.C. State Shit – An inevitable chain of events in sports where a blatant bad call or bizarre unlucky play causes a total collapse of confidence, resulting in multiple, unforced, and devastating errors.

That was taken from Urban Dictionary.  It is 100% accurate.  Every school may claim moments like this happen, but if you aren’t an NC State fan, then you have no clue the extent of this damn beast.  I’ve been pulling for NC State from before I could walk (and no this isn’t a wheel chair  “Roll Pack” reference), so I’m an expert on this shit.  Once in our lives we had a non-NC State Shit moment, the 1983 NCAA Championship, since then (some would say since the University unfairly blamed Jimmy V for all that went wrong here is the true start, but because he coached the Georgetown Chris Corchiani foul/travel game, I say it started after the ’83 championship game), our program has been marred by unfortunate events.  Some of the fan base blame the refs, some blame the ACC, some blame the players, the coaches, the Athletic Directors that oversee the program, the fans, the students who don’t support the team, and some blame the media bias towards the assholes in Chapel Hill and Durham (of all the things I said there, the only thing that is 100% true and cannot be denied is that those “people” in Chapel Hill and Durham are indeed assholes).

So that’s all been said.  So why now? Why am I writing this 30 years after the fact?  Well, out of frustration for starters.  And because I am hoping that somebody involved in the program actually reads this and realizes how easy it is to avoid these things.  For the most part of the 30 years I’ve referenced, my team has indeed been one of inferior talent, poor coaching, poor leadership and losing games wasn’t necessarily acceptable but dammit it was understandable.  We’d have our occasional big wins, but the next game, BOOM, NC State Shit.  I got it.  It made sense.  Our team wasn’t better than yours, and when we did beat you it was because 9 times out of 10 you would beat us, but HA, it was time number 10 and it was our turn.  This year, that’s not the case.  With the exception of Miami, Florida State, and Duke in the ACC, we are SUPERIOR, that’s right, SUPERIOR to all the other teams in the conference.  We are probably even SUPERIOR top to bottom to Duke and Florida State as well, and what has me ranking us under Miami is that their team is deeper than ours.  So with that being said, why the hell are we losing to teams like Maryland and Wake Forest and playing close games against Boston College, Georgia Tech, and Clemson?  Well the simple answer is NC State Shit.  The complicated and more accurate one is what I’m about to explain to all of you.  I may not be a sports writer, but dammit if I don’t understand sports, writing, and basketball.  My breakdown of the 2012-2013 NC State Men’s Basketball team:

Coaching:

Mark Gottfried – Let’s start at the top, the man has proven he is a great recruiter.  Coaching wise, it looks like he’s just telling the guys “here is a ball, just go score it, and as far as defense, just run past that line at half court and watch the other team shoot.”  I love that you’ve got the hype around our program up, I love the exposure. But dammit man, this team is far too talented to not know how to play defense.  People may blame the players, but I blame coaching right now.  Teach them to defend.  If they don’t do it, pull them out of the game, at least then we have a reason for losing to teams like Maryland and Wake Forest.  Make them be accountable.  You sound great on camera and on interviews but man, make these kids (yes they are all still kids) learn the fundamentals of the game.  Maybe hold a practice where they aren’t allowed to shoot the ball once and focus only on defense.  We start one of the TALLEST starting 5’s in the country, yet our rebounding and defensive efficiency are horrible.  Bro, that means what you’ve taught them defensively isn’t working, fix that shit now so we don’t come at you with pitchforks and fire at the end of the season.  COACH the team.

Players:

CJ Leslie – Pre-season ACC player of the year.  In-season Invisible man of the year.  You are too talented to disappear in games against shitty teams.  Box your man out.  Don’t jump on every pump fake.  Focus.  Grab the ball with 2 hands.  Put a hand in someones face. Play defense.  Don’t settle for stupid jump shots when you can post a man up.  Use the fact that you are a freak athletically. If you want to make the NBA, you can’t take games off (at least in college, when you get to the NBA do that all you want).  You didn’t leave early last year because you weren’t going to be a 1st round pick.  You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.  Don’t kid yourself.  Play dominant all the time and you will play in the league and get paid, until then keep calm and play with passion ALL the time.  I don’t need the good CJ half the time, we need the GREAT CJ ALL the time.  Oh and stay after practice and shoot free throws, you’re leaving 4 to 5 points a game on the floor.

Lorenzo Brown – One of the best point guards in the country.  Early in the season it looked like he let the NBA cloud  his judgment.  You have the talent, there is no doubt, but use your brain.  You can’t dribble into a double or triple team and try to go behind your back, that’s just stupid.  This isn’t the And 1 mix tape.  Don’t force things, extend your arm on defense, fight through picks, rotate when you get beat to help the man who helped you.  LEAD, not sometimes, but ALL the time.  When the other team goes on a run, grab our guys and tell them “Hey, that team sucks, we are better than them, now, let’s show that.” Also, work on your 3 point shot, your percentage won’t cut it in the NBA.

Richard Howell – If you were 2 inches taller, you would be a lottery pick.  You hustle, you rebound, you scowl at the refs.  You’ve cut down on stupid reach in fouls.  My main gripe with you good sir is that for EVERY rebound you go up with one hand.  Sure it looks pretty, but 2 to 3 times a game, you lose a rebound because you didn’t use both hands.  I know you’re undersized, but the ones that you lose are when people aren’t around you.  Two hands my man, two hands.

Scott Wood – Great shooter….I think that’s all I can say.  If you aren’t hitting, find another way to get in the game, box out, grab the ball then try to pass it, not the other way around. Defend with your body, all of your body, keep a hand in the defenders face. Extend your arms, call out picks, rotate on defense.  Actually run to the player in the corner shooting, don’t just watch them.

Rodney Purvis – 3 on 1 fast break, pass the ball bro. You don’t have to always take it up yourself.  Don’t settle for 3 pointers that you look like you don’t want to take, drive to the hoop, make cuts.  Defensively, keep tight on your player, you get easy points so that you don’t have to pass the ball that way.  REBOUND.  Extend your arms both at the player and up in the air, this makes you BIGGER.  And for the love of God, get in the gym and shoot 1,000 free throws a game, there is no way a top guard should EVER, I repeat EVER, be less than 70% from the free throw line (you’re currently under 60%).  You like scoring, you like points, you’d get 2 to 4 more a game just making the free throws.  Care enough to make them.

TJ Warren – Let me just say that I know for a fact this guy works harder than anybody on the team.  Why? Because he is in the gym ALL THE TIME.  Good for you. Now let’s continue. Great scorer.  He doesn’t have a single play called for him but scores tons of points, because he’s in the right place at the right time.  That’s on offense.  On defense it’s a whole different story.  Sometimes you defend like your hands are in your pockets.  Again, extend your arms on defense, fight through picks, REBOUND.  Your basketball IQ alone should have you averaging 14 ppg and 7 rebounds without a single play being called for you. But you can score all you want, if your man is getting points or you’re late on rotations, it negates all that you did on offense.  Defend better, get more minutes, score more points.

Tyler Lewis – Burger boy All American.  You probably knew you wouldn’t get tons of playing time this year, but when you do, you need to make the minutes count.  You’d prob get more of ’em if you did.  Defend, yeh, you’re smaller than all of them, but (broken record for this team) extend your arms, fight through picks, use your base to hold off a posting defender, run out to the ball on rotations and open shooters.  On offense you’re supposed to be this wonder kid with the ball, but sometimes you make passes that make me wonder what the hell is going on.  If you have to think about passing the ball to someone, it’s already too late, move along to the next option.  To be a great point guard, you have to know when and when not to make a pass (this holds true for Zo as well).  Work on your jump shot, it’s too flat outside of 10 feet.

Jordan Vandenberg – You’re like 8 feet tall, yet you can’t get rebounds.  This doesn’t make a damn bit of sense to me.  Get your damn hands up son!  Don’t even bring them down, EVER, just keep them up.  If you just kept your hands up and stood in front of anybody, they would have to take a difficult shot.  Just keep your hands up.

I’m not gonna list anybody else on the team, because nobody else really gets minutes.  Go back and read the critiques of the players here, it’s all about defense.  Until we learn how to defend on a 3rd grade play ground level (I’m not even asking us to be as elite as we should be), we will continue to lose games to inferior opponents.  It’s as simple as caring.  Do the players care enough to want to win? Do they care enough to want to play in the NBA? If they did, they’d realize the better they are collectively, the more recognition they will get, the better chance your strengths and not weaknesses get highlighted.

This team is good enough to not care, win enough games, make the tournament, make the Sweet 16 and get bounced again like last year.  Or they are good enough to care, show they care, win the ACC, maybe make a Final Four, and all be NBA players at some point.  I mean I care, but there isn’t much I can do outside of ranting on the internet.  I’ll always be a NC State fan, but if I’m getting superior teams that under perform, I don’t think I can handle this as a fan.  I’d rather watch a team of scrubs hustle and lose games than a team of studs lose because they don’t care. So do Wolfpack Nation a favor, start caring, even if it’s just 40 minutes a game, that’s all we want.  Care for 40 minutes every game, for the rest of the season, then when the season is done you can not care all you want.  Just care for us.  Shit care for yourselves.

Ultimate NC State Shit, 3 quarter court shot to lose a game…I had tickets to this game and luckily did not go a few years ago, I am 100% positive I would have spontaneously combusted watching this shit…

With all that being said, please beat the shit out of Carolina.

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Fantasy Recap Week 6…

Why hello there!  If you are 6-0 at this point in the Fantasy Football season, just know that you are lucky assholes or that everybody else in your league sucks…or a combination of both of these.  At this point, your team is either a source of full on joy every Monday/Tuesday morning or just pure unadulterated disappointment.  Look at the standings, and look at the team in 6th place.  See how far back you are on them.  If it’s 1 or 2 games, you still got a shot at this!  If it’s more than that, then figure out a way to get everyone’s passwords and start trading players to your team!  And with that folks, our do-ers and don’t-ers of week 6!

Stars of the Week

QB – Aaron Rodgers – 6 TD’s.  I don’t need to say much else.

RB – Shonn Greene – 3 TD’s.  The first and last time a Jets player will be on this list.  His first and last name are spelled wrong, just saying.

RB – Ahmad Bradshaw – 116 yards and a TD against the 49ers defense.  Kudos to you sir.

WR – Jordy Nelson – 9 catches, 121 yards 3 TD’s.  How pissed off do you think the Texans’ cornerbacks were that a white dude was zooming by them catching TD’s all game?

WR – Wes Welker  – 10 catches, 138 yards, TD.  That’s not including the big ass hit he took in the first half.  And yes, this is probably the first and only time 2 white WR will make the Stars team.  I’m not racist, I’m just saying Ben Affleck’s aren’t typically doing big thangs on the same week  (“You white, you Be Affleck”).

RB/WR – AJ Green – 7 catches, 135 yards, 2 TDs.  For the record he isn’t white.  They still somehow lost this game.

TE – Antonio Gates – 6 catches, 81 yards, 2 TDs.  And he was sitting on my bench, because he hadn’t done shit the past few weeks.

K – Jason Hanson – 4 FGs.  2 XP.  Solid day old man.  21 years in the league.  My kids will be kickers dammit!

DEF – Denver Broncos – This award really should go to Philip Rivers, but hey they did it to him. 4 sacks, 4 INTs, 2 Fumble recoveries and 2 TD’s.

Assholes of the Week (I call it like I see it)

QB – Philip Rivers – 4 INT’s and 2 Fumbles.  Led directly to 2 defensive TD’s.  And you cost me a win this week asshole!

RB – Marshawn Lynch – 41 yards?  More like Least Mode son.

RB – Michael Turner – 33 yards…God you suck.

WR –  Miles Austin – 2 catches, 31 yards.  Got the big money and sucks.  There is a reason he wasn’t drafted high in real life.  That reason is he sucks in real life.

WR – Dwayne Bowe – 3 catches 25 yards.  Not all his fault…his QB is Brady Quinn.

RB/WR – Stevan Ridley – 34 yards.  It was raining, why the hell did the Pats throw the ball so damn much??

TE – Vernon Davis – 3 catches 37 yards.  Guess the Giants figured out how to stop you since that playoff game huh?

K – David Akers – 1 made FG, 2 missed FG.  Asshole!

DEF – Indianapolis Colts – They made the JETS look good.  Do you know how bad you have to be to do that???

Free Agent Pick Up of the Week

Josh Gordon – Cleveland Browns.  Supplemental pick leading to fantasy sleeper.  Get him now folks!

So, so true.

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Fantasy Recap Week 5…

5-0, 4-1, 3-2, 2-3, 1-4, 0-5….you’re one of these.  If it’s the last 2, just make sure you set your lineups for the rest of the year so that you don’t give anybody any easy wins, otherwise you’re good to just casually observe.  For the rest of us, we’ll just look forward to playing your shitty teams every week. Seriously though, there is no reason for you to be 1-4 or 0-5 unless you realllllly suck or you just have bad luck with the scheduling.  If it’s the latter, good luck tryna win the rest of your games to make the playoffs…or just pray you are in a league with a bunch of idiots and you actually legit have a shot.  5-0 and 4-1 don’t get too cocky, you ain’t in the clear just yet.  The magical number for most leagues is 7 for a 12-team league and 8 for a 10-team league, so get to the 7 or 8 win total and that will guarantee you a playoff spot. And now to our friends and enemies of the past week…

Stars of the Week

QB – Drew Brees – He killed it 370 yards and 4 TD’s, broke the record for consecutive games with a TD, and won the game too (only because the refs pretty much guaranteed there was no way in hell the Chargers were winning that game)

WR – Reggie Wayne – Wow, where was this last year?? Oh you didn’t have a QB, ok ok…13 catches, 212 yards and a TD.  Bravo sir, bravo

WR – Marques Colston – He’d have a bajillion TD’s if he didn’t drop the ball so damn much, but 9 catches 131 yards and 3 TDs is a glorious day.

RB – Ahmad Bradshaw – 200 yards and a TD…so much for Andre Brown doing something relevant.

RB – Arian Foster – 152 yards and a TD…typical day at the office.

WR/RB – Percy Harvin – 8 catches 108 yards 1 TD, 8 rushing yards 1 TD…I love you Percy…

TE – Tony Gonzalez – 13 catches 123 yards 1 TD… I hate your guts Tony G…please make note this was against my Redskins…ugh

K – Blair Walsh – Hit 3 FGs and 3 Extra Points… He’s a kicker, he did his job.

DEF – Chicago Bears – 2 TDs again this week…another dominating performance…

Assholes of the Week (Assholes because let’s face it, these douchebags suck)

QB – RG3 – I love you man, but freaking slide, I don’t need to see you leaving games early both for real life football and fantasy!

RB – Fred Jackson – Hey guy, just get hurt already so that CJ Spiller can kill it again! Or you can stay healthy and provide us with 29 rushing yards…

RB – Maurice Jones-Drew – 56 yards…your team sucks, this actually isn’t your fault.

WR – Andre Johnson – 1 catch 15 yards.  THROW HIM THE DAMN BALL SCHAUB!

WR – Mike Wallace – 2 catches 17 yards. What is this shit???

RB/WR – Chris Johnson – You guys thought I forgot about this asshole.  Nope, I’m not even looking up his stats because I just know that he sucked.

TE – Antonio Gates – 3 catches 19 yards.  I blame the refs partly for this, taking away a few of his catches with bullshit penalties.

K – Mason Crosby – In most formats, you amounted to 1 fantasy point.  You suck kid!

DEF – Buffalo Bills – Gave up 300 yards passing and rushing to the 49ers! Alex Smith is their QB, how is that even possible!?

Free Agent Pick Up of the Week

Vick Ballard – Who? yep, go with it folks, your new starting RB for the Andrew Luck(y) Colts.

Admit it, you are this guy on Sundays….

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Fantasy Recap Week 4…

“They are who we thought they were”

– Coach Dennis Green

That pretty much sums up your Fantasy Football teams at this point.  I’m sure you can come up with a million excuses as to why you are 0-4 or 1-3, but nobody really cares because you are 0-4 or 1-3.  To become relevant you have to win 7 to 8 of your last 9 games, when your ass may have only won once thus far.  Good luck with that.  So in summary, if you are 0-4 or 1-3 at this point in the season, you suck… that is all. If you are at 2-2 you are still in it, but every win or loss from here on out will be agonizing.  Those of you at 3-1 are some cocky assholes.  You aren’t in the clear yet, but you’ve done something right (except for you Mando, this shit won’t last).  And those of you at 4-0, you pretty much should make the playoffs barring some unfortunate injuries.  The 4-0 thing goes for everyone except for 2 special people, Mo (you’re probably looking at a 4-9 season son) and Abe (you’ll prob finish 5-8, you’ve already played the cupcake part of your schedule).  Otherwise my statements are 100% true 99% of the time.  And now onto our Heroes and Zeroes of the past week.

Stars of the Week

QB – Aaron Rodgers – 319 Yards and 4 TD’s…It’s about time you played like the first round pick you were.

RB – Michael Turner – 171 all purpose yards and a TD.  First receiving TD of his career. Thanks for showing up.

RB – Marshawn Lynch – Beastmode did work again.  155 all purpose yards and a TD.  HMD!!

WR – Brett Hartline – Sounds like a wrestlers name.  12 catches 253 yards and a touchdown.  I’m pretty sure those were his SEASON stats last year.

WR – Roddy White – 8 catches, 169 yards, 2 Touchdowns.  Some of his success should go to the atrocious Panthers secondary though.

RB/WR – Andre Roberts – Who? 6 catches, 118 yards, 2 TD’s.  Cardinals are 4-0.  Sadly, nobody knows who this guy is even now.

TE – Greg Olsen – 6 catches, 89 yards, 1 TD.  The Panthers bright spot.  This asshole killed me this week in fantasy.

K – Greg Zuerlein – Young G Z.  Kick from 58, good, kick from 60 plus, good.  Do work son, do work.

DEF – Chicago Bears – Thank you Tony Romo for your performance as “QB attempting to look like Jay Cutler this week”  5 INT’s for the bears, 2 TD’s, lots of points.

Assholes of the Week (assholes because they played like shit)

QB – Tony Romo – He  was so bad he got mentioned twice today.  5 interceptions.  Someone test this idiot for color blindness, he seemed to find more open guys for the other team than his.

RB – Doug Martin – Thanks for all 33 yards you got…oh and for letting LaGarette Blount get a touchdown…everybody LOVED that…

RB – BenJarvus Green-Ellis – The Lawfirm, fumbled twice..for those keeping score that 3 fumbles in his last 2 games.  That’s exactly 3 more than he had in his entire career up until this season.

WR –  Julio Jones – 1 catch. ONE. I’m not even giving you credit for your yardage asshole.  Don’t do this shit to me again!

WR – Andre Johnson – 3 catches, 56 yards.  I know the Texans don’t need to throw, but dammit, throw him the ball!

RB/WR – Steve Smith – Wooohooo Panthers!! Way to go Smitty, next time instead of telling your young QB to grow up, how bout working on him getting you the ball more.

TE – Dennis Pitta – Zip, zero, nada.  No points.  Well played sir.

K – Ryan Succop – 2 extra points.  Star to asshole in one week.  Football is fickle.

DEF – Buffalo Bills – 2 100 yard runners against them.  Blew a 21-7 lead.  Nobody is circling any wagons.

Free Agent Pick Up of the Week

Rashard Mendenhall – Coming off of an ACL surgery and a bye week, he should finally see action this week. Due to the less than stellar performance of the Steelers’ RB’s thus far, he will probably be starting next week.  If he’s available scoop him up.

Not gonna lie, this is probably an accurate statement.

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Fantasy Football

Tonight I have a Fantasy Football draft with the biggest bunch of assholes a person could be friends with (my sisters are in this draft and basically included in that description).   The league is comprised of a bunch of degenerates who are not to be trusted and who in all actuality never grew up (I’m included here).  So if I hate all of them so much, why do I continue to participate? Well because it gives me a good place to use all my hatred instead of going on a murdering spree (better for the environment I say!).  If you aren’t doing Fantasy Football with a bunch of “friends” I suggest trying it, it’s a good way to find other reasons to make fun of people through out the year, and in the end isn’t that what friendship is really about.  My job in any Fantasy League (aside from winning of course) is to be the trash talker.  Every league needs that, and that’s what I provide.  Aside from this, today I will give you my 10 sure fire  ways to win your league.  I hope you are ready!

Follow these rules and win your league this year!

  1. Draft a Defense in the first round – Nobody will see it coming and you will get to pick which team you prefer the most.  Defense wins championships! Start your team out strong!
  2. Draft a number 2 receiver in the 2nd round – Pray the number 1 gets hurt and boom laugh all the way to a championship
  3. Kicker, kicker, kicker – you have to have a good kicker to win, game is on the line you need him to hit the winning kick.  Draft a good one early!
  4. Running back – try to find the guy who is best available based off of the new Madden 13 ratings.  Trust me this always works.
  5. Defense again – again guys defense wins championships. The other teams won’t know what to do when you’ve already got TWO top defenses.
  6. Tight end – draft someone who is really big and fast or someone with an ethnic last name, they always do good
  7. Quarterback – This is where you win it.  Draft a rookie quarterback.  Just like they do in the pro’s! When he’s good in a few years you can say you saw it first!
  8. Get as many offensive lineman as your league allows – you can’t win without protection.  You also can’t conceive with protection…or can you?
  9. Running back – Simulate through midseason on Madden 13, then take the highest rated running back still left based off of Madden stats
  10. Injuries – Pick up injured star players early, when they come back they will be motivated!

Madden 13 came out today, Megatron is on the cover, pick him as high as you can, we all know that means he’s gonna have an amazing season. There is no such thing as a Madden Curse!

When you win this year, I expect ALL the credit!

 

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Dwight-mare Over

Well it finally happened.  Dwight Howard got traded.  And I can tell you this, the Orlando Magic got screwed.  Because D-Ho was being a douche for the past year, he pretty much ruined any kind of trade value the Magic could have gotten.  Why? Because everybody knew he wanted out of town.  Look, I understand that Bore-lando sucks.  You’ve got Disney World and Universal Studios (the Harry Potter rides are pretty legit).  That’s pretty much it.  So they traded him for whatever they could get apparently, which amounted to a Little Tikes basketball hoop, NBA Live ’95, 2 free flights on Southwest Airlines, and the ability to pick first in this years NBA Fantasy Football Draft (Pretty sure they are gonna take Aaron Rodgers!).

So let’s talk for real in what happened in this 4 team mega trade. Here is who got what:

Lakers – Dwight Howard

76ers – Andrew Bynum, Jason Richardson

Nuggets – Andre Iguadola

Magic – Aaron Afflalo, Al Harrington, 3 PROTECTED first round picks (in all honesty I’d have rather had the package that got me 2 free flights on Southwest with NBA Live ’95)

Yes their were other small bit players in this trade, but one that actually mean anything.  This trade was pure bullshit.  If you offer that trade in a video game, the computer probably fines you.  What I wanna know is what naked pictures of the Orlando Magic owner did these other teams have.  This trade strengthens every team EXCEPT, wait for it, the Orlando Magic.  So the Magic trade away the best player in this whole 4 team deal, and end up with the worst deal? What in the hell is going on here?!!  I’m pretty much gonna have to watch the Lakers and Heat on TV all season next year, this is gonna suck so bad.  Hey NBA, just get rid of all but like 8 teams, if trades like this are gonna keep happening.  It’s not worth the fan-vestment for all the other cities.

Ugh this just sickens me. (Pic from ESPN.com)

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