Tag Archives: basketball

The Origin of “NC State Shit”

After last night’s punch/kick/smack/knife/bullet/cannon/etc to the stomach, I sat and talked with some friends about when did this whole “NC State Shit” phenomenon first start.  It took all of 3 seconds for me to recall the first time something that was complete and utter bullshit happened to my beloved team. And from that point on, it’s been a snowball gaining size and ridiculousness rolling down a mountain.

Before I get to what the event was that started “NC State Shit,” I’m going to give you guys a background on the universe and WHY “NC State Shit” exists. In 1983 a young Jim Valvano and his Cardiac Pack made a run through the tournament that was borderline genius in coaching and mostly luck in all other aspects. From a coaching standpoint, fouling early and often to create the pressure of missing the front end of one and one’s allowed the team to make comebacks during their famous NCAA title run (the irony of what happened last night just adds to the “NC State Shit”ness of it all). The luck part culminated with the “alley oop” to win the title as Hakeem (or Akeem at the time) Olajuwon watched as time ran out. I put alley oop in quotations because we all know that was an airball and the most lucky finish to win a game against a team we had no business from a talent standpoint even being close with. I know, you play to win the game, and any given day any team can win. And with certainty, these statements are absolutely true.

Fast forward to 1989, NC State versus Georgetown in the regional semifinal, winner goes to the Elite 8. NC State is trailing Georgetown by 3. Alonzo Mourning of Georgetown had just picked up his 4th personal foul a few minutes earlier. 2:06 left on the game clock.  Chris Corchiani drives to the hoop, gets bumped by Alonzo Mourning, throws up the shot, and falls to the ground. The whistle blows. The crowd erupts, the bench jumps up in celebration. Then “IT” happened. “IT” being “NC State Shit.” The referee signals for a traveling violation. Even the announcers are screaming “what?!?” On what should have been Mourning’s last play of the game and Corchiani stepping to the line for a chance to tie the game, “NC State Shit” stepped in and said, no sir, not today. All angles of the replay clearly show there was nothing even close to a traveling violation. No way in hell that the call should have been made. With that call, “NC State Shit” was born. Within the next 2 years, NC State gets put on probation for it’s players selling their tennis shoes for extra cash (yeh, that’s worse than making up classes and professors apparently *coughUNCcough*), our coach who won us a National Championship is fired, he get’s diagnosed with cancer, he passes away, and then we fade into the background on Tobacco Road.

Some fans will say that we deserve all of this for the way the administration treated Jimmy V when they let him go after the shoe scandal, they even go as far as calling it the curse of Jimmy V.  While how we treated Coach Valvano (may he rest in peace) was unacceptable, “NC State Shit” didn’t happen because of that. It was conceived during that miraculous 1983 title run in Albuquerque, then birthed 6 years later in the Meadowlands. If you don’t believe it, go back and watch that 1983 run, starting with the ACC Tournament. That run was proof. The magic we used to win those games down the stretch, that ACC tournament, that title game, well that folks, was the true spark for “NC State Shit,” and 25 years after it’s debut, “NC State Shit” is still breaking our hearts. With that, Go Wolfpack and Go to Hell Carolina.

Start the video below at the 5:52 mark.  Approximately 2:06 is left on the game clock with Georgetown up 3.  Watch and behold the beginning. And then hope and pray that last night was the end.

The Wolfpack Way aka NC State Shit

 

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Not Our Rival…

Once again Wolfpack nation, the time is upon us where all we will be hearing from the Tar-holes up the road is that NC State is “Not Our Rival.”  Fantastic! Now that we got out the way, we can talk about the upcoming game against those pompous arrogant sons of ……. So yeh game on tomorrow.  Both teams are sitting in that 4th and 5th spot (UVA has tie breaker if records are even) in the ACC, so this game has big implications (and I don’t mean it in a rivalry sense, because, we are not your rivals).  In the past few weeks it seems like Roy Williams has realized his best player is PJ Hairston (only something every other person in America knew from the beginning of the season), and since inserting him the starting lineup UNC has played decent basketball (only decent because they still suck).  And in the last week Coach Gott has inserted TJ Warren in the starting lineup and was rewarded with a 31 point, 13 rebound performance (I told you son, rebound the ball and hit your free throws and look at what it does to your stat line).  So what we’ve learned is that both coaches have started learning how to actually set proper lineups. Everyone knows that the game tomorrow is important psychologically for both teams as well as in the ACC standings (and NCAA resume), so once again I’ll break down the keys to NC State success so that we may avoid the proverbial “NC State Shit” (you know like a missed free throw that’s tipped in at the end of the game to force overtime).

Coach Gott – Play your 7 and only your 7.  The 7 I refer to does not include the Australian guy that can’t get a rebound.  Apparently that is uncoachable.  Preach defense and rebounding, and ball movement, this one pass one shot crap is gonna kill us.

CJ Leslie – Calvin, get your shit together son.  You can’t be mentally checked in 50% of the time.  You turn the ball over too much on plays that you force.  Let the game come to you.  And for the love of God STOP JUMPING AT EVERY PUMP FAKE!! You end up picking up stupid fouls and NOT blocking the shot.  Also, the 1 to 2 goaltends you get a night need to stop, if it goes in it goes in.  I know you wanna be on SportsCenter but I’d rather us win games son.

Lorenzo Brown – I’m glad your back.  Turn the ball over less.  I’m loving the distributing and the attacking the rim, but turn the ball over less.  Keep the defensive intensity up.  Make people remember why you are one of the top Point Guards in the country.

Richard Howell – Stay aggressive.  Avoid the half court fouls.  And once again rebound with TWO HANDS.  Secure the ball please.  Keep working on the jump shot because when it’s on you are un guardable sir.

Scott Wood – Be ready to release the ball WHEREVER you catch it, I don’t care if it’s half court.  Defensively keep the guy in front of you. You’ve gotten lucky a few times blocking shots from behind, but with better players that’s gonna be a dunk and you ain’t blocking that.  Keep moving on offense, just keep moving, make your defenders keep running into screens, they’ll continue tiring out.  But shoot the ball more (and make it more too please).

TJ Warren – Be aggressive man.  Stay rebounding, keep moving without the ball, defend with arms extended, hit free throws.  You did great against FSU, we need that intensity against everybody.  And don’t think I didn’t notice that change in the quickness of release on your 3 pointer, I see you tryna look like KD!

Rodney Purvis – Look man, you are athletic, we know that.  But you miss too many layups and you miss way too many free throws.  What does that equal? Points left off the scoreboard.  Like many other State fans, we hate seeing a 3 on 1 fast break with you dribbling because we know you will NEVER pass it.  How bout passing the ball some to the open people on breaks and calm down a bit to finish your shot.  It doesn’t help if you get fouled if you don’t make the free throws.  Stay in the gym and work on it.  Seriously, go to the gym now and shoot free throws.  You have the chance to be our best on the ball defender, focus on that, your minutes will come. Keep hustling man, the points are waiting for you.

Tyler Lewis – Son I apologize to you, I didn’t think you were ready to play at this level this year, but you have proven me wrong.  Why? Because you’ve realized what you can and can’t do.  So keep that up.  Pass the ball, and move.  Dribble like it’s your job.  The White Shadow strikes again.

I think we beat the d-bags from Chapel Hill, but it’s not gonna be as easy (30 minutes of easy) as it was in Raleigh.  Defend as a team, rebound, and take good shots.  If it’s a shot you can get at any time in the shot clock then it’s not a good shot.  Take the better one.

Go to Hell Carolina! Go State!

For old times sake…Never forget!

ALL RED EVERYTHING!

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The Monday After…

So apparently I’ve turned my blog into an NC State Men’s Basketball blog for the time being.  Deal with it.  So we beat the pretentious assholes from up the road on Saturday 91-83 in a game that honestly wasn’t that close.  Yeh UNC hit some shots to draw to 5 but I can honestly say that at no point did I feel like we were gonna lose that game, and rightfully so, the superior team won.  Some quick points from the game:

  • When NC State plays defense, they are one of the top 5 teams in the country, hands down.  The problem is the whole playing defense thing,  as evidenced by the 57 point second half by UNC that cut a 28 point lead to 8.  When the Wolfpack play defense, they are tough to beat, but they need to learn to play it for 40 minutes and not just 27-32.
  • UNC Coach Roy Williams is still a horrible coach.  He may be a great recruiter but he is a stubborn idiot.  There were many times State was taking it to the Heels and he refused to call a timeout.  It cost ya bro.
  • Roy also is a horrible evaluator of talent on his own team.  There is no reason Hairston shouldn’t have played more.  He was on fire, 19 points in only 17 minutes of play, and he consistently got open looks (part of that is our horrible defense).  I want to know what his excuse for not playing him is.
  • Carolina sucks.  Seriously, they are not a good team.  Their leader James Michael MacAdoo or however you spell it is limited.  He can’t shoot a jumper, he has no low post game, he pretty much can dunk the ball.  Son you should have gone Pro last year when people would have thought you were all potential, now it’s easy to see that you’ve got a lot of work to do.

Now to the post game situations, AKA Twitter and Facebook.  In case any of us were wondering about UNC’s history (and I’m not talking about African American Studies/History classes), every Carolina fan was quick to bust out stats of games from 1776 when America was still in it’s infancy as a nation.  As a fan base, I know State fans can be annoying, but damn if UNC fans don’t take the cake. We aren’t your rivals, we get it, yet you guys are the ones that keep talking about it not us.  Just shut up and hope that your coach learns to coach his team.  I feel a Coach K mystery (yep I still feel K knew his team was gonna suck so he decided to sit one out) back injury coming soon for Roy where he has to sit out a year for his horrible team, only to have it backfire because the guy taking over knows how to actually coach.  Am I a hater? Yes.  Is the truth sometimes confused with hate? Yes.  Am I spitting out truth right now? Yes.

So now let’s talk about a team that actually matters, NC State.  Guys, I’d like to think that you guys read my previous post on NC State Shit and got your shit together, but apparently we need to work on retention.  Our lack of depth might hurt us against certain teams (coughMiamicough), but for the most part the 6 we play are better than the 6 any other team can trot out there.  We just need to get in better shape to play that kind of defense for 40 minutes, it all starts at the gym, with the Coach (also Coach Gott, you could use a timeout every once in a while to give the guys a break).  What I saw was an engaged bunch of kids that blew out a team that talks a lot of trash to the media (Hey Dexter Strickland, nice layup bro!) because their defense was elite for once (for 60% of the game at least).

Leaving points:

  • Don’t blow it against UVA, they have a good defense, but our offense is better.  Defend the perimeter, call out ball screens, keep your hands up (“hand down, man down”), hustle and REBOUND.
  • Don’t get caught looking ahead to Miami, they are gonna be a tough team, but we haven’t proven that we are even ALLOWED to look ahead to other games, one game at a time.
  • Freshmen, please, please, please, work on your free throws.  I’m looking at you TJ and Rodney.
  • When we are getting pressed, please everyone pay attention, the concept that the ball might be coming to you should not be a surprise.  It’s not that hard, they are playing defense, the ball might come to you, actually attempt to know that.
  • Again, the word I use to describe what we should do most is just CARE.  CARE to do the little things, 30 minutes a game isn’t going to cut it, 35 might, let’s try that then we can be lazy again….

Go to Hell Carolina, Roll Pack, WOLFPACK, and whatever else you wanna say, “when we hungry, we eat!”

This poor, poor kid… YAMMMED on….Ouch

 

 

 

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Go To Hell Carolina…

Dear UNC Fans,

We get it, we are not your rival.  We are not your rival in the same regard that your University had an outstanding African American Studies major.  We are not your rival just as much as Mantei Te’o had an amazing girlfriend.  For those of you who got your “UNC Degree” from Wal-Mart, what I’m trying to say is, just because you say it doesn’t mean it’s true (if you still don’t understand, stop reading now, big words like “the” and “to” are probably going to be used frequently and I don’t want you to strain yourselves).  We are not your rival because you say we are not your rival.  Over and over and over again.  So seriously, if we are not your rival, why do you keep talking about us? Because we are not your rival right? Riiiight.  We might not be Duke, but you hate watching us succeed in any sport, you make fun of our “Moo U” college, and you belittle any accomplishment that our university has ever had.  So if we are not your rival, why do you care? Ohhh, it’s because I just kinda defined what a rival is you morons.  But it’s ok, we don’t need to be your rival, we aren’t the ones making a big deal about it.  So this Saturday, when you are losing to your “not rival,” remember that the loss won’t hurt, the loss won’t sting, because it’s just another school that beat you.

Dear NC State Students and Alumni,

I apologize.  I’m sorry that at some point, some of you weren’t taught things by those who came before you.  My generation learned things and didn’t share.  We were stingy.  Or we figured someone else would teach you.  But today I make up for this.  I’m droppin’ knowledge.  First and foremost, you need to learn the fight song, not just the “Go to Hell Carolina!” part.  Learn all the words, it’s not that hard.  Secondly (definitely after learning our fight song), you need to learn the words to the UNC fight song.  Because they are not our rival, they don’t care if we know the words.  I’m amazed by how many people did not learn this “hate anthem” while they were at school, and again I apologize for this.  So while I won’t type our fight song (one of your friends should easily teach this to you) I will give you the NC State version of the UNC “song” (I don’t know if it’s a fight song or just the crappy sound that comes out of their band).  This is not child friendly (unless you have awesome children):

(Again, words to the music their band plays)

In the ditches west of Raleigh,

There’s a place like Hell,

Where Twenty Thousand Sons of Bitches,

Call it Chapel Hill.

Where the bastards born, and the bastards bred,

And when they die, they’ll be bastards dead.

So piss on Carolina-lina, piss on Carolina-lina

Piss on Carolina-lina, ROLL on State!

A few things.  Whoever came up with this is a genius.  And now we have a ROLL reference that can coincide with the “Roll Pack” phenomenon.  Students, learn this song for the game.  Sing it with pride.  You’re welcome.  Keep some tradition going, and when we smash those assholes from up the road, make sure you start a “Not our rival” chant.  I’m sure this will throw their fans in a conniption.  Also students and fans, DO NOT rush the court, it’s UNC for crying out loud, they don’t deserve that kind of treatment.

Yours Truly,

NC State Class of 2003, Civil Engineering

(Who would have thought an engineer knew how to write? Prediction NCSU 87 UNC 76 Go Pack!)

Go to Hell Carolina, Go to Hell!!

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N.C. State Shit…

First off, I know I haven’t done one of these in a while, I’ve been busy getting old and shit.  Second, I know the Super Bowl is coming up, and I’ll hit on that in the next week or so.   So for all you sports lovers, I’ll be giving my end all be all opinion that is actual fact because what I say is actually the only thing that really matters.  But I digress. Today I write about something that I’ve mentioned before.  Something that has plagued my sports fan life.  My love for my University and therefor my undying love for it’s basketball team.  If you aren’t from North Carolina, you probably have no idea what the hell I’m talking about.  So let me learn you something right fast.  Sit back read on, and as my man Kevin Hart said “you goin’ learn today!”

N.C. State Shit – An inevitable chain of events in sports where a blatant bad call or bizarre unlucky play causes a total collapse of confidence, resulting in multiple, unforced, and devastating errors.

That was taken from Urban Dictionary.  It is 100% accurate.  Every school may claim moments like this happen, but if you aren’t an NC State fan, then you have no clue the extent of this damn beast.  I’ve been pulling for NC State from before I could walk (and no this isn’t a wheel chair  “Roll Pack” reference), so I’m an expert on this shit.  Once in our lives we had a non-NC State Shit moment, the 1983 NCAA Championship, since then (some would say since the University unfairly blamed Jimmy V for all that went wrong here is the true start, but because he coached the Georgetown Chris Corchiani foul/travel game, I say it started after the ’83 championship game), our program has been marred by unfortunate events.  Some of the fan base blame the refs, some blame the ACC, some blame the players, the coaches, the Athletic Directors that oversee the program, the fans, the students who don’t support the team, and some blame the media bias towards the assholes in Chapel Hill and Durham (of all the things I said there, the only thing that is 100% true and cannot be denied is that those “people” in Chapel Hill and Durham are indeed assholes).

So that’s all been said.  So why now? Why am I writing this 30 years after the fact?  Well, out of frustration for starters.  And because I am hoping that somebody involved in the program actually reads this and realizes how easy it is to avoid these things.  For the most part of the 30 years I’ve referenced, my team has indeed been one of inferior talent, poor coaching, poor leadership and losing games wasn’t necessarily acceptable but dammit it was understandable.  We’d have our occasional big wins, but the next game, BOOM, NC State Shit.  I got it.  It made sense.  Our team wasn’t better than yours, and when we did beat you it was because 9 times out of 10 you would beat us, but HA, it was time number 10 and it was our turn.  This year, that’s not the case.  With the exception of Miami, Florida State, and Duke in the ACC, we are SUPERIOR, that’s right, SUPERIOR to all the other teams in the conference.  We are probably even SUPERIOR top to bottom to Duke and Florida State as well, and what has me ranking us under Miami is that their team is deeper than ours.  So with that being said, why the hell are we losing to teams like Maryland and Wake Forest and playing close games against Boston College, Georgia Tech, and Clemson?  Well the simple answer is NC State Shit.  The complicated and more accurate one is what I’m about to explain to all of you.  I may not be a sports writer, but dammit if I don’t understand sports, writing, and basketball.  My breakdown of the 2012-2013 NC State Men’s Basketball team:

Coaching:

Mark Gottfried – Let’s start at the top, the man has proven he is a great recruiter.  Coaching wise, it looks like he’s just telling the guys “here is a ball, just go score it, and as far as defense, just run past that line at half court and watch the other team shoot.”  I love that you’ve got the hype around our program up, I love the exposure. But dammit man, this team is far too talented to not know how to play defense.  People may blame the players, but I blame coaching right now.  Teach them to defend.  If they don’t do it, pull them out of the game, at least then we have a reason for losing to teams like Maryland and Wake Forest.  Make them be accountable.  You sound great on camera and on interviews but man, make these kids (yes they are all still kids) learn the fundamentals of the game.  Maybe hold a practice where they aren’t allowed to shoot the ball once and focus only on defense.  We start one of the TALLEST starting 5’s in the country, yet our rebounding and defensive efficiency are horrible.  Bro, that means what you’ve taught them defensively isn’t working, fix that shit now so we don’t come at you with pitchforks and fire at the end of the season.  COACH the team.

Players:

CJ Leslie – Pre-season ACC player of the year.  In-season Invisible man of the year.  You are too talented to disappear in games against shitty teams.  Box your man out.  Don’t jump on every pump fake.  Focus.  Grab the ball with 2 hands.  Put a hand in someones face. Play defense.  Don’t settle for stupid jump shots when you can post a man up.  Use the fact that you are a freak athletically. If you want to make the NBA, you can’t take games off (at least in college, when you get to the NBA do that all you want).  You didn’t leave early last year because you weren’t going to be a 1st round pick.  You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.  Don’t kid yourself.  Play dominant all the time and you will play in the league and get paid, until then keep calm and play with passion ALL the time.  I don’t need the good CJ half the time, we need the GREAT CJ ALL the time.  Oh and stay after practice and shoot free throws, you’re leaving 4 to 5 points a game on the floor.

Lorenzo Brown – One of the best point guards in the country.  Early in the season it looked like he let the NBA cloud  his judgment.  You have the talent, there is no doubt, but use your brain.  You can’t dribble into a double or triple team and try to go behind your back, that’s just stupid.  This isn’t the And 1 mix tape.  Don’t force things, extend your arm on defense, fight through picks, rotate when you get beat to help the man who helped you.  LEAD, not sometimes, but ALL the time.  When the other team goes on a run, grab our guys and tell them “Hey, that team sucks, we are better than them, now, let’s show that.” Also, work on your 3 point shot, your percentage won’t cut it in the NBA.

Richard Howell – If you were 2 inches taller, you would be a lottery pick.  You hustle, you rebound, you scowl at the refs.  You’ve cut down on stupid reach in fouls.  My main gripe with you good sir is that for EVERY rebound you go up with one hand.  Sure it looks pretty, but 2 to 3 times a game, you lose a rebound because you didn’t use both hands.  I know you’re undersized, but the ones that you lose are when people aren’t around you.  Two hands my man, two hands.

Scott Wood – Great shooter….I think that’s all I can say.  If you aren’t hitting, find another way to get in the game, box out, grab the ball then try to pass it, not the other way around. Defend with your body, all of your body, keep a hand in the defenders face. Extend your arms, call out picks, rotate on defense.  Actually run to the player in the corner shooting, don’t just watch them.

Rodney Purvis – 3 on 1 fast break, pass the ball bro. You don’t have to always take it up yourself.  Don’t settle for 3 pointers that you look like you don’t want to take, drive to the hoop, make cuts.  Defensively, keep tight on your player, you get easy points so that you don’t have to pass the ball that way.  REBOUND.  Extend your arms both at the player and up in the air, this makes you BIGGER.  And for the love of God, get in the gym and shoot 1,000 free throws a game, there is no way a top guard should EVER, I repeat EVER, be less than 70% from the free throw line (you’re currently under 60%).  You like scoring, you like points, you’d get 2 to 4 more a game just making the free throws.  Care enough to make them.

TJ Warren – Let me just say that I know for a fact this guy works harder than anybody on the team.  Why? Because he is in the gym ALL THE TIME.  Good for you. Now let’s continue. Great scorer.  He doesn’t have a single play called for him but scores tons of points, because he’s in the right place at the right time.  That’s on offense.  On defense it’s a whole different story.  Sometimes you defend like your hands are in your pockets.  Again, extend your arms on defense, fight through picks, REBOUND.  Your basketball IQ alone should have you averaging 14 ppg and 7 rebounds without a single play being called for you. But you can score all you want, if your man is getting points or you’re late on rotations, it negates all that you did on offense.  Defend better, get more minutes, score more points.

Tyler Lewis – Burger boy All American.  You probably knew you wouldn’t get tons of playing time this year, but when you do, you need to make the minutes count.  You’d prob get more of ’em if you did.  Defend, yeh, you’re smaller than all of them, but (broken record for this team) extend your arms, fight through picks, use your base to hold off a posting defender, run out to the ball on rotations and open shooters.  On offense you’re supposed to be this wonder kid with the ball, but sometimes you make passes that make me wonder what the hell is going on.  If you have to think about passing the ball to someone, it’s already too late, move along to the next option.  To be a great point guard, you have to know when and when not to make a pass (this holds true for Zo as well).  Work on your jump shot, it’s too flat outside of 10 feet.

Jordan Vandenberg – You’re like 8 feet tall, yet you can’t get rebounds.  This doesn’t make a damn bit of sense to me.  Get your damn hands up son!  Don’t even bring them down, EVER, just keep them up.  If you just kept your hands up and stood in front of anybody, they would have to take a difficult shot.  Just keep your hands up.

I’m not gonna list anybody else on the team, because nobody else really gets minutes.  Go back and read the critiques of the players here, it’s all about defense.  Until we learn how to defend on a 3rd grade play ground level (I’m not even asking us to be as elite as we should be), we will continue to lose games to inferior opponents.  It’s as simple as caring.  Do the players care enough to want to win? Do they care enough to want to play in the NBA? If they did, they’d realize the better they are collectively, the more recognition they will get, the better chance your strengths and not weaknesses get highlighted.

This team is good enough to not care, win enough games, make the tournament, make the Sweet 16 and get bounced again like last year.  Or they are good enough to care, show they care, win the ACC, maybe make a Final Four, and all be NBA players at some point.  I mean I care, but there isn’t much I can do outside of ranting on the internet.  I’ll always be a NC State fan, but if I’m getting superior teams that under perform, I don’t think I can handle this as a fan.  I’d rather watch a team of scrubs hustle and lose games than a team of studs lose because they don’t care. So do Wolfpack Nation a favor, start caring, even if it’s just 40 minutes a game, that’s all we want.  Care for 40 minutes every game, for the rest of the season, then when the season is done you can not care all you want.  Just care for us.  Shit care for yourselves.

Ultimate NC State Shit, 3 quarter court shot to lose a game…I had tickets to this game and luckily did not go a few years ago, I am 100% positive I would have spontaneously combusted watching this shit…

With all that being said, please beat the shit out of Carolina.

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Dream Team Debate

Recently Kobe Bryant said he thinks that the current Team USA could beat the Dream Team from the ’92 Olympics.  Many people have chimed in on this already, but let’s be honest, my opinion is the only one that really matters.  In saying that, I would also like to say that Kobe Bryant is an idiot if he actually believes that.  Seriously Kobe, shut the hell up.  I will provide a player by player analysis comparing similar players from each team to evaluate who I think (and obviously I’m gonna be correct on this shit) would win that individual battle.  Then we can tally up all the wins and losses and see who should in theory win that game.  Here we go:

  • Starting PG – Magic Johnson vs. Chris Paul.  I don’t care if Magic had syphilis, chlamydia, and herpes to go along with HIV, he still is a better player than CP3 and his size alone would cause a huge mismatch problem.  Yeh CP3 is fast, but that’s what help defense is for.  I don’t see CP3 ripping Magic and scoring any easy buckets.  Oh Magic hadn’t played in a year? Your point? That previous year he took his team to the Finals.  Not even close.  Edge: Dream Team.
  • Starting SG – Michael Jordan vs. Kobe Bryant.  Hey Kobe, you asked for it, you would absolutely get murdered.  Kobe has copied Jordan his whole career but he will never be Jordan.  MJ in a landslide.  Edge: Dream Team
  • Starting SF – Charles Barkley vs. Carmelo Anthony.  Sir Charles dominate Melo.  Chuck plays physical defense, and is a punisher on offense.  Remember this is Chuck in his best condition as a professional ball player.  Melo is lazy, and is a volume scorer.  That’s great when you are the only star on your team, but not so great if you are amongst stars. Edge: Dream Team
  • Starting PF – Karl Malone vs. LeBron James.  Ok so some would say that LBJ could be the 3, but either way whether he’s the 3 or 4, he is gonna win that battle and whoever the other forward position is would lose.  It’s alot closer than you would think because LBJ has never had to guard people of this caliber on defense then have to actually have the size and athleticism match up on him offensively.  Edge: 2012
  • Starting C – Patrick Ewing vs Tyson Chandler.  Really? Ewing would make Chandler inefficient.  Chandler defends around the hoop, Ewing is best facing the rim from 8-12 feet out. Edge: Dream Team
  • Bench PG – John Stockton vs Russel Westbrook.  Stockton is one of the best PG of all time, but he never had to face anyone with the speed and athleticism at the point like Westbrook.  In a one on one game, Westbrook wins easily, in a TEAM game Stockton dominates because of court vision and ability to not turn the ball over or take dumb shots.  Edge: Even
  • Bench Wing – Clyde Drexler vs. Andre Iguodola.  Clyde.  All day.  Every day. Are you freaking kidding me.  Edge: Dream Team
  • Bench Wing – Chris Mullin vs. Kevin Durant.  The dream needed some shooters, Mullin was one of em.  Kevin Durant is incredible tho.  Durantulla dominates this.  Edge: 2012
  • Bench Wing – Scottie Pippen vs James Harden.  Yeh I thought so, Pip running away with this.  Edge: Dream Team
  • Bench – Larry Bird vs. Deron Williams.  I love Larry Legend.  Even when he was old he was doin THANGS.  Williams is a good PG, but in a shooting contest who do you pick?  Shit in a game of one on one who do you pick?  Yep, the Hick from French Lick.  Edge: Dream Team.
  • Bench Post – David Robinson vs. Kevin Love.  I love me some Kevin Love, but the Admiral in his prime would demolish him.  Edge: Dream Team
  • Bench College Player – Christian Laettner vs Anthony Davis.  Dukie was the better offensive player, but Anthony Davis athletically is a freak.  I would easily pick Davis.  It has nothing to do with the fact that I hate Duke either.  Edge: 2012

12 players.  9 wins for the Dream Team.  3 wins for the 2012 team.  The problem is 2 of those wins were bench players.  So if you shorten the bench, they might not even be wins.  Hell if you switch the lineups some you could say that if you matched MJ on LBJ and a Pip in his prime defensively on Kobe, that they’d win those battles too.  Even still, LBJ and KD are the only 2 (Kobe 4 years ago, not now) that could earn a spot on the team right now.

When Larry Bird was told of Kobe’s comments, he replied, “They probably could. I haven’t played in 20 years and we’re all old now.”  If we go off of trash talk, the Dream Team would win there too.

Seriously, why the hell was Christian Laettner on this team. They REALLY didn’t want Isiah on this team huh.

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100 points, 50 years later

Today marks the 50th anniversary when Wilt ‘The Big Dipper’ Chamberlain scored 100 points against the New York Knicks in Hershey, Pennsylvania.  50 years have come and gone, and the record still stands (much to Kobe Bryant’s chagrin). With the way athletes are conditioned with ‘swag’ and ‘attitude’ these days, it’s very unlikely for this record to ever be broken because nobody wants to be punked (remember when Justin Timberlake was Punk’d, that was hilarious, but a totally different kind of punking).  The closest anyone has gotten to this record is the aforementioned Kobe ‘Black Mamba’ Bryant when he scored 81 against the Toronto Raptors in 2006 (what a ballhog, 81? Geez man, pass the damn ball). To me though, this isn’t even Wilt’s most impressive record. That award would belong to the amount of sexual conquests he had, over 20,000 to be exact.  From his 1991 biography, “A View From Above,” Wilt openly discussed the relationships he had with all the random women he met over the years. Not only was he good with the ladies, but apparently he was real good at math too:

“Yes, that’s correct, twenty thousand different ladies. At my age, that equals out to having sex with 1.2 women a day, every day since I was fifteen years old.”

20,000! Bro, that’s a whole ‘nother record that won’t soon be broken.  So while people are celebrating the 100 points, let us remember that Wilt was more than a basketball player…he was also a playa!  Wilt died at the age of 63 (RIP), alone, unmarried, unengaged, and a self proclaimed bachelor for life. In the end, we all die alone (think about it).

(I wonder if he did a picture with 20,000 on it?)

Back to basketball though, is there anybody in the NBA that can get to 100? Kobe, LeBron, KD? I don’t think so, but tell me what you guys think by commenting below (not that I really care about what you think or anything, but I wanna make fun of somebody).  So today, I salute you Wilt, for owning 2 of the most impressive records on the planet. If you’re gonna be the best, be the best at EVERYTHING you do, I DONE SAID IT!

 

 

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