Tag Archives: Barrack

Once You Go Black…

…you’ll never go back!! What it do baybay??  Well I’ll be damned if that isn’t the truth, America got a taste of chocolate in 2008 and sure enough it was a flavor that lingered just enough to want some more.  Election 2012 is over (THANK GOD!!) and America has spoken, 4 more years of President Barrack Obama.  To me the results of the election weren’t as good as the following different media outlets.  I’m looking at you Fox News and MSNBC.  Once the election was “called” on projections for Obama, all kinds of funny shit started happening.  Karl Rove started going nuts saying that by his math Romney would win Ohio, and that all other people are wrong, the Republican Party apparently followed suit and withheld the “concession” of the election because of these reports.  You then had Rachel Maddow (aka Matthew Perry) vocally berating Fox News and her co-hosts saying the use of the word “talent” to describe “those guys” was both laughable and silly.  Then watching the back and forth you could see the hate the Liberal channel had for the Conservative channel.  And I loved every minute of it.  It’s good entertainment.  What they should have done was have them be in the same room and just go at it.  But alas that didn’t happen (sadly).

Anyways, let’s get to why BO won this election.  He won it because of Mitt Romney and Sandy.  The Republican nominee’s inability to perceive minorities as an actual viable voting population cost him.  His 47% statement was damning to his election.  Doing the math, according to Romney, 47% was voting for Obama, leaving 53% of the population.  So technically you need to get 51% of that population to vote for you.  He got around 49%, which is pretty good, but factored with the way the electoral college process works, this wasn’t gonna win it for him.  Romney may have been right with his 47% statement, but even if he was, it’s just plain idiotic to ever say that shit out loud.  By doing so, he alienated the elderly, African Americans, Latinos, new immigrants from anywhere, the gay population, and basically anybody not white.  This was a horrible strategy in 1- vocalizing it and 2- actually following through on it.  That’s a lot of “undecideds” that you are just saying you don’t care what they do.  Now you know better for the next time. Oh and to build a little more on that Mitt Romney being the problem, think about this now Conservative Right, if you’d have nominated Ron Paul, we’d probably have a new president. And then you have Hurricane Sandy.  That girl done messed up Romney’s bid for President.  At a time when the country didn’t know if Obama was the guy to lead in a crisis situation, Sandy showed up and showed the country that he can.  He used FEMA wisely and strategically when Romney publicly called for ending FEMA’s relief control.  Foot in mouth moment again for Romney.

There you have it folks, that’s how you lose an election.  Obama may have won the election, but in reality this thing was lost by Willard Mitt Romney.

PS:  How the hell is our voting system so outdated?? Why can’t we actually have instant results instead of projections?? Tech nerds/geeks, get this shit right, you have 4 years to fix it!

Not gonna lie, this made me bust out laughing…some people are so clever these days!

If only there was something clever that could go with “Once you go Brown” I’d be in business…sadly there isn’t…

 

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And The Winner Is…

Put up your dukes, the results of the 3 round debate battle…

Yep, this is about the debates.  Yep, I’m talkin’ politics.  No, I do not consider myself supremely knowledgeable in the political department.  Yes, I do find it likely that I know more about politics than you despite my previous sentence.  Let’s start off with a disclaimer, I have voted in 2 of the 3 elections I could vote in, and both times I have voted, the guy I voted for has won the election.  If you were smart enough to figure that out, you realize that means that I have voted Republican once and Democrat once, I do not let a party affiliation lead me towards making a vote. If you also re-read that sentence about how my voting goes, then you realize that I, and I alone control the outcome of this election (If A=B and A+C=D, then obviously B+C=D too, duh!).  So with all that power and responsibility resting solely on me, I feel I should break down the winner and loser of each debate.  Why?  Because I feel I deserve an explanation to help me choose the best (of the worst) candidates!  If you’ve been following the shit that I write, you would also know that I am a big proponent of using Paper, Rock, Scissors to solve everything from war to elections.  Obviously the world doesn’t listen to me because it’s inhabitants are idiots (yourselves most likely included, wink face, smiley..oh I mean ;), 🙂 ).  My other way of voting has broke down to me standing in the voting booth saying “I’m [insert name] and I approve this message.”  From that I pick who’s name sounds the best in that sentence and vote for that person.  Is it a perfect system? Nope, but it’s better than the reasons most of you guys use to vote.  So yep, that’s why I’m breaking down the debates, because I could stand to give myself another system to vote for the leader of the free world, and frankly because there was a lot of funny shit that happened during these things.  If you didn’t know Obama and Romney hated each other, well now you know. Let’s do this!

Round 1, FIGHT! (University of Denver, Denver, Colorado)

Wednesday, October 3rd.  20 years ago on this day, Barrack Obama married Michelle.  And on this day he has to debate.  Romney came out guns ablazing, Obama came out bumbling like an idiot.  Any questions asked had Obama stuttering like the little kid from “Billy Madison” (“Ta-ta-ta-ta-today Junior!”).  Romney didn’t really do anything to stand out as awesome, Obama just looked bad.  I think he knew that Michelle (I’d vote for her over both of these fools) was gonna whoop his ass for ruining their anniversary.  Seriously, I know it’s a stereotype, but I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t be afraid of my angry black wife for not doing her right on our anniversary.  He had no chance to win this.  Romney knew this.  Advantage: Romney

Round 2, FIGHT! (Hofstra University, Hempstead, NY)

Tuesday, October 16th.  On this night, I decided a few things. One, that Romney has amazing hair. Two, I want binders full of women (seriously, dude needs a honey).  Three, how the hell did the people who asked the questions to these 2 come up with the questions?  Seriously, I was more annoyed with the people asking the questions than the questions being asked…like for real, your ass is gonna come up with that question? Or to that dude whose co-workers spoke about Libya or any other Middle Eastern country at work? C’mon son, you know damn well someone gave you that question and you were just the puppet.  Anyways, aside from those points and Obama looking confident and like a leader and Romney turning into the lost one, it was boring.  Romney should have known Obama was gonna come out swinging, he should have countered instead of taking body blows all night.  Advantage: Obama

Round 3, FIGHT! (Lynn University, Boca Raton, FL)

“The 1980’s are calling to ask for their foreign policy back” -Obama (paraphrased).  First, if the 1980’s called, someone better have taken a better message than that and gotten their damn number, because dammit that 1980’s were amazing.  Second, oooooohhh burrrrnnn, dammmnnn, he got you sonnn!  Zing, Obama comes out swinging. Now fill in the “foreign policy” debate with these words/phrases: Iran, 4 years closer to nuclear Iran, Israel, middle east, arab spring, United Nations, Russia, China, jihadist, Osama Bin Laden.  From the way Romney talked up his state, it made me wonder if Massachusetts was now in a different country.  From the way the topic kept going to education, it made me think both Obama and Romney are ADD as hell (no offense to you ADD’ers out there).  Romney thinks Russia is the bad guy, both guys think muslims are the bad guys, one guy has actually killed a terrorist. That guy is Obama bin Laden, whoops (if you didn’t watch the debate, then you don’t know that the moderator actually said that).  He came out throwing haymakers, and landed enough to win this round, plus any time you can name drop that you killed the world’s most recent notorious terrorist, you can’t really lose the foreign policy debate.  Advantage: Obama

Results: Obama 2, Romney 1

That’s how I scored it from home folks.  Does this shit actually mean anything? Nope.  90% of you already were voting for who you wanted before watching any of this.  Don’t lie to me, and don’t lie to yourself.  Seriously, stop lying asshole!  I will continue to say that I think both candidates aren’t the best we can do as a nation.  We are effin America son, we shouldn’t be dealing with second fiddle “lesser of two evils” bullshit.  In truth, we need someone like Batman to run this country.  Ron Paul is probably the closest thing to him we got.  Rich dude, check.  Smart, check.  Devilishly handsome, check.  Ron Paul is the hero we deserve.  He is the hero we need.  Sadly we got stuck with Aquaman and the Green Lantern, bit characters who really don’t deserve their own show/movie/comic outside of the group stuff.  Vote for who you hate the least.  Or for who you think is less stupid.  Or for who is blacker.  Or for who is whiter.  Or for who spray tans more. Or for whose name sounds better as you try to repeat commercials in your head.  It’s your call.  Shit, or don’t vote, that’s your call too.  But if you don’t vote, don’t bitch about it.  As for me, I’ll vote and then bitch anyway, even when I tried to write myself in as president.  I approve this message.

(This shit is pretty funny)

(He got jokes too)

 

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