Bumper Stickers

I see you on cars and I immediately think 5 things:

  1. That’s gonna hurt the re-sale value of your car.
  2. You aren’t really that ignorant to believe that?
  3. Your kid stole that sticker from the smart kid.
  4. Oh that’s clever/funny (sarcastic tone).
  5. Don’t lie to us, you really don’t believe in “coexist”ing

Can anybody actually tell me why people still put these damn things on their car?  It’s distracting to me as the guy following you.  Why? Because I feel compelled to read that shit, even though I know I don’t give a damn.  So yes, “if I’m reading this” I’m “probably too close” and yes I might honk, but not because “I love ta-ta’s.”  Please people, just stop putting shit on your car.  Our society is already stupid and distracted enough while driving.  I can manage reading your shit and driving, but that shit-tard that was texting while driving in 2 lanes simultaneously obviously cannot.  And I don’t care that he/she thinks your puppies are adorable, or that those stick figures you have of your imaginary family on your mini-van is cute.  Most likely you are a horrible driver, and you are genuinely not clever, AND the people driving around you are idiots with well documented driving skills.  So before we start outlawing texting and driving or playing Words with Friends or Angry Birds while driving, we really need to get rid of ALL bumper stickers.  Umm, that pretty much sums it up, I done said it.

This is what your shit looks like to me…

 

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