Replacements…

re·place·ment/riˈplāsmənt/

Noun:
  1. The action or process of replacing someone or something.
  2. A person or thing that takes the place of another.

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s just go ahead and say it together now.  The replacement officials in the NFL suck.  OK, that felt good.  As long as we are all in agreement on this one, we can move on.  Or can we?  This past weekend was filled with horrible officiating.  Last night’s Seahawks vs. Packers game was perhaps the worst end game situation ever decided by an officiating crew.  If you haven’t seen the replays or heard the uproar in the news (or read the players’ reactions around the NFL on Twitter, which by the way is hilarious) then get on it son.  Take a few minutes out of your day to watch it. Two things that stand out clearly on the play, one is that Golden Tate absolutely pushed off Sam Shields (missed offensive pass interference call) and two, M.D. Jennings intercepted the ball and all Golden Tate did was essentially hug Jennings and put a hand on the ball (and I assume he called “first” like he was playing pick up basketball, that is the only way in my mind that the ref could have been that confused to call that a touchdown).  That’s right, Golden Tate (who the hell names their child Golden?) cheated once to get a chance at the ball, then cheated again and pretended he had the ball, and the refs were like, “sounds good to me.”  The NFL’s commitment to integrity and player safety are out the window.  These “officials” officially suck (and that folks was a pun).  They have yet to control a game.  I don’t even think half of them know the rules.  Am I being harsh? Nope. I’m being real.

Let’s go through 5 (in no particular order) other jobs not as important as officiating where replacements would be just as horrible an idea:

  1. Air Force Pilots – Sure the replacement pilot flies Southwest airplanes, psshh he’s seen Top Gun like 20 times, of course he can do those cool turns in a jet!
  2. Doctors – Hey look guys, these Veterinarians can do just as good of a job, I mean, Pig and Human anatomy are almost identical.
  3. Accountants – Well he did get an A+ in Calculus, of course he’s qualified to handle your accounts!
  4. Lawyers – Our team is composed of the finest debate team standouts from their high school days, they can argue the hell out of anything (OK, this one might not be as far fetched…kidding lawyers, kidding).
  5. Mechanics – Experience? Oh well our guys were Lego Maniacs growing up, they can put shit together and take it apart fast!

Yes I just compared all of that to what is going on in the NFL right now.  Replacement refs have to go.  Hell, last week they had to remove an official because he was about to call a game for his favorite team (dude was in Saints gear all over his Facebook wall, and no me and him are not Facebook friends).  So since all of us watching can easily see what’s right and wrong, how are these replacements (with the aide of instant replay) still messing up? Well I’ll give you some reasons as to why, according to Twitter:

  1. They were filming a new Buffalo Wild Wings commercial and the guy at the bar hit the “Seattle wins” button.
  2. The ref who signaled touchdown had Golden Tate on his fantasy football team.
  3. The ref who signaled touchdown was playing against the Packers defense in fantasy football.

And now some quick fix solutions to the problem:

  1. Have Mitt Romney or Barrack Obama pay the $9 million difference between the NFL and the REAL officials and thereby gain more votes (Saw this on Twitter and busted out laughing, then kind of cried a little because this might actually help one of those idiots win the election).
  2. Have players call their own penalties and plays, kind of like pick up basketball (wait, isn’t that what’s happening now?).
  3. Kidnap Roger Goodell and send in his doppelganger to make fan supported decisions (ability to vote on the next play for the offense via texting!)
  4. Befriend a set of the replacements, find out if they are willing to not make some calls in favor of a certain team, bet on said team, win lots of money (pretty sure that’s what’s goin’ on right now).

So there you have it folks, your 2012 NFL season is already a joke, and with all these bad calls, somehow my Redskins will never be on the receiving end of one.  Shakin’ my damn head…

 

Ref 1 – Umm I wasn’t even watching the play, I was checking out the cheerleaders
Ref 2 – Shit a play happened? Touchdown!!

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