Week 2 done. Aside from the horrible officiating, the football has been awesome. Crazy stats from unsung heroes. While major players are doing zip, zero (stingy with dinero). So while I am hating on a lot of guys from my teams this weekend, some other guys have picked up the slack. I’m 4-2 in 3 leagues through 2 weeks, not too bad, but not 6-0 either. Ok, no more ranting, let’s get to the team of the week.
Stars of the Week
QB – Eli Manning – 3 interceptions…and over 500 yards and 3 touchdowns. As much as I love my man RG3, Eli gets this weeks top nod.
RB- Reggie Bush – You got my respect last year for helping me win a championship. This year you’re actually running the ball. Go on with your bad self looking like you at USC again. 172 yards and 2 TD’s.
RB – CJ Spiller – Hot damn, CJ done made the list again. 123 yards and 2 TD’s. The Bills need to keep giving him the ball, even if Fred Jackson comes back.
WR – Hakeem Nicks – 10 catches, 199 yards, 1 TD. I played against this asshole in all 3 of my leagues (1-2 this week folks). Eli just kept throwing it up and Tampa Bay kept letting receivers catch it.
WR – Danny Amendola – 15 catches, 160 yards, 1 TD. Asshole single-handedly beat my Redskins.
RB/WR – Victor Cruz – 11 catches, 179 yards, 1 TD, and a salsa dance celebration.
TE – Dante Rosario – 4 catches, 48 yards, 3 TD’s. THREE!! Damn you Gates, that could have been you, instead you had to be hurt…again. Too bad nobody actually started you or even owned you on their team. Don’t worry folks, this guy won’t ever do this again.
K – Justin Tucker – 2 kicks from 50+ yards. A 40 yarder too, just for the hell of it.
DEF – Green Bay – Mostly because Jay Cutler is a little bitch and I want to rub it in, but they sacked him 7 times. Get rid of the ball you idiot.
Now that you’ve seen the good, let’s get to the bad.
Assholes of the Week (Assholes because you cost people wins)
QB – Jay Cutler – 126 yards, 1 TD, 4 interceptions. I’d only blame one of those picks on somebody other than you Jay.
RB – Chris Johnson – CJOKE. Damn you, I’ve had you on my team for 2 years now and you’ve done absolutely nothing you douche bag.
RB – Darren McFadden – way to do absolutely nothing on the ground again, and then not have a good day catching the ball. Hero one week, goat the next.
WR – Larry Fitzgerald – 1 catch, 4 yards. ONE catch, FOUR yards. This is the fault of his QB. This guy’s career is being wasted in Arizona.
WR – Dez Bryant – 3 catches, 17 yards and a fumble. Pretty solid. All the talent in the world with most of the stupidity in the world too.
WR/RB – Brandon Marshall – his QB sucks, so naturally he would suck too.
K – Dan Bailey – I’m sure everyone is thanking you for that 1 point this week.
DEF – Kansas City – or Kansas Shitty, whatever you wanna call em, they didn’t stop anyone.
Free Agent Pick Up of the Week
If he’s still available in your leagues, Danny Amendola, should be scooped up. In PPR leagues he is a monster. The Rams are gonna throw a ton and most will be quick short passes to the “next Wes Welker.” Get him if you can.