Fantasy Football

Tonight I have a Fantasy Football draft with the biggest bunch of assholes a person could be friends with (my sisters are in this draft and basically included in that description).   The league is comprised of a bunch of degenerates who are not to be trusted and who in all actuality never grew up (I’m included here).  So if I hate all of them so much, why do I continue to participate? Well because it gives me a good place to use all my hatred instead of going on a murdering spree (better for the environment I say!).  If you aren’t doing Fantasy Football with a bunch of “friends” I suggest trying it, it’s a good way to find other reasons to make fun of people through out the year, and in the end isn’t that what friendship is really about.  My job in any Fantasy League (aside from winning of course) is to be the trash talker.  Every league needs that, and that’s what I provide.  Aside from this, today I will give you my 10 sure fire  ways to win your league.  I hope you are ready!

Follow these rules and win your league this year!

  1. Draft a Defense in the first round – Nobody will see it coming and you will get to pick which team you prefer the most.  Defense wins championships! Start your team out strong!
  2. Draft a number 2 receiver in the 2nd round – Pray the number 1 gets hurt and boom laugh all the way to a championship
  3. Kicker, kicker, kicker – you have to have a good kicker to win, game is on the line you need him to hit the winning kick.  Draft a good one early!
  4. Running back – try to find the guy who is best available based off of the new Madden 13 ratings.  Trust me this always works.
  5. Defense again – again guys defense wins championships. The other teams won’t know what to do when you’ve already got TWO top defenses.
  6. Tight end – draft someone who is really big and fast or someone with an ethnic last name, they always do good
  7. Quarterback – This is where you win it.  Draft a rookie quarterback.  Just like they do in the pro’s! When he’s good in a few years you can say you saw it first!
  8. Get as many offensive lineman as your league allows – you can’t win without protection.  You also can’t conceive with protection…or can you?
  9. Running back – Simulate through midseason on Madden 13, then take the highest rated running back still left based off of Madden stats
  10. Injuries – Pick up injured star players early, when they come back they will be motivated!

Madden 13 came out today, Megatron is on the cover, pick him as high as you can, we all know that means he’s gonna have an amazing season. There is no such thing as a Madden Curse!

When you win this year, I expect ALL the credit!

 

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