Let me start this by saying this is the greatest restaurant on the planet. Formerly Showbiz Pizza (Where a kid can be a kid!), Chuck-E-Cheese’s has it all! It’s got the BEST “worst” pizza ever. People may say not enough sauce and too much cheese, but I say delicious. The games there are cheap as hell. Compared to Dave and Buster’s, you could probably save $100 dollars per person per visit (that might or might not be an exaggeration). Ever since childhood (that lasted til I was like 26) it has been one of my favorite spots to play games. It’s like a theme park, but closer, cheaper, and with amazing pizza. In fact, I had my 21st and 28th birthday parties there. True story. That actually happened. So where am I going with all this? Well I was talking to a stupid friend of mine this morning (emphasize the word stupid, because he really is an idiot) and I was suggesting that we go to Chuck-E-Cheese’s if we win a basketball game tonight. So it made me think of the amazingness that is their pizza. Oh and also of what transpired at my 28th birthday party (Enter flashback music and thought cloud). It was a good 40 to 50 people (more likely 5 or 6 people) who turned out. Full on adults just straight creeping at a Chuck-E-Cheese’s. We ate our delicious pizza then went on to just push kids aside as we took over the game floor. We were Kings and Queens in a land of Munchkins. We did what we want. We played Skee-ball like champions, raced each other like we were real professional drivers, and some of us (mainly me) dominated the Pop-a-shot. In playing a Pop-a-shot though, there was a problem. Mainly this 9-12 year old kid (no idea what his real age was). He was at Chuck-E-Cheese’s that night because he had received a “B -minus” on his report card and his mom was rewarding him. So this little prick, with the encouragement of a few of my jerkface friends, began talking shit to me. He challenged me, I accepted. We started playing. It was obvious from the begining that I was the superior athlete (and probably Mathlete too). I was killing him (despite some of my friends blocking my shots) and talking trash, but he wasn’t backing down, he kept yapping. Then boom, game over, I murdered him. He turns to me and goes, “you still suck.” Me being the adult that I am responded quickly with, “Hey maybe if you’d have gotten an A on your report card you would have won.” Ooooohhhh SNAP. Not only did I win in the game, I beat him in trash talk too. That lil punk went running off to his mom a loser. My friends said I was being mean and that he was just a kid. And you know what, I was being mean, and he was a kid, but don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. Let that be the first real life lesson he learns. Maybe it’ll help him in the classroom. It most likely won’t though. In the end, it was my Birthday and I could do whatever the hell I wanted to! Sooo, does anybody wanna go to Chuck-E-Cheese’s with me?