Trolling on Facebook

Oh Facebook.  How I love to mess with people on thee.  You ever get the urge to just eff with people?  You ever actually done it?  Have you tried it on Facebook (Wow, that just felt like an infomercial)?  We all have those “friends” that put up statuses that we wanna respond to in a smart ass way.  Right?  I know it’s not just me.  We fight the urge to be dicks though.  Well, sometimes.  Because sometimes, when you see someone attempting to be “deep” in thought with Facebook status, you really do just got to regulate (Mount Up) on them.  Even if they are putting up a sad status.  Shit just has to be done.  So if you don’t know how to “troll” someone, particularly on Facebook, sit back and enjoy.

FB Status – Does anybody else ever get the feeling that world is just against them?

Me- Nope, not at all.

In this example, a short and simple response was all that was needed.  It was indeed assish.  But it got the point across that a) nobody wants to hear about your bad day on Facebook, call a friend, keep that shit in a tight circle and b) keep posting soft shit like this and I will make you feel stupid for doing so.

FB Status – I’m so bored that I could kill myself.

Me – If you’re slitting your wrists, it’s down the road, not across the street.  If you’re hanging yourself, make sure that rope isn’t too long.  Dibs on your computer and TV.

Here you see that someone is just reaching out for a friend to hang out with them, but instead of just calling someone, they advertised to the world that nobody really wants to hang out with them.  My reply was me just trying to help them out, make it less messy with regards to the clean up.  Plus I wanted some free shit.

FB Status – Vacation starts today!! 🙂 😉  It’s a much needed break! (Insert location) here I come.

Me – Hey be careful on your trip, I hear that (insert location) has had a recent outbreak of syphilis, so make sure you’re aware of your surroundings.  Also, crime rates there are really high this time of year, so pay attention! Have a fun time!!

Well, that wasn’t really trolling, I was being nice and considerate.  I even put exclamation points.  I’m such a jackass.

So those are just a few examples, we all have our own style to be funny, errr I mean assish (I know this is not a word, but dammit I am using it).  The weekend is upon us, there will be many opportunities to “troll” so get your creative juices flowing and regulate (“just hit the east side of the LBC….”) on some fools.

HA! Even Willy Wonka is doing it!

(RIP Nate Dogg…”It was a clear black night…”  Come on you knew I was linking this song, I referenced it twice)



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One thought on “Trolling on Facebook

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