No I am not referring to idiots that walk into fancy restaurants without shoes or a shirt on. This is about cell phone providers, mainly AT&T, or as I’m starting to call it AT&Sucks. What the hell is up with all of the dropped calls lately? Maybe y’all need to stop spending less money on advertising and a little more on cell phone towers. I’m getting sick of seeing “No Service” in the top left corner of my iPhone. I’d call to make a complaint, but I’m pretty sure that I’d get halfway and then I’d lose connection. So instead I’ll rant about how shitty AT&Sucks has been lately. The following has become the standard for my phone conversations:
Me- Hey, what’s up (insert random conversation)
Other Person – Hello? Hello? Yo you there?
Me- HELLO? HEY CAN YOU HERE ME! (looking at phone, went from full bars of service to NO bars of service despite not having moved)
Other Person – HELLO?
Me – I’m here!! Don’t leave me alone! I’m lonely! I’m scared! Help Me!! (ok so that’s a bit of an exaggeration but you get the point)
Phone – BEEP BEEP BEEP (with the message CALL FAILURE)
Hey assholes, fix this shit. Seriously, I’m paying enough for the damn service that this shit shouldn’t happen. It’s not like I am inside an underground cave (contrary to popular belief I am not Batman…and I know Batman would also say he’s not Batman to throw you off, but for real I ain’t Batman…or am I?). So to anyone who has called me and it seems like I just hung up in your face, it’s really my phone. Or it might be me pretending it’s my phone because I didn’t want to talk to you. Hmm on second thought, maybe shitty cell service isn’t bad after all. Nah I’m playing, I can pretend to drop a call without the help of horrible service (imagine me making the crazy kshhhsksshhh sound to seem like I’m losing service). So AT&Sucks, how about working on making the network good and stop lying in your commercials. I’m only still with you guys because I am loyal to the damn iPhone (only because I don’t want to learn to use another phone….yes I am lazy). If anybody works for AT&T, make sure you show them this rant, I have billions (more like 5…not 5 billion…just 5) of followers, and we want our voices to be heard (mainly my voice).