My NFL Mock Draft

Mock (Yeaaahhh) Draft (Yeaaaah) Yeah (Yeaaaah). Tonight is the night where fans get hyped up about 20-23 year old kids being the saviors for their professional football teams.  I am one of those fans hyped as my Redskins will be selecting RG3 with the 2nd overall pick.  I do not care that we will not draft in the first round for the next 2 seasons, because Rex Grossman and John Beck started for us last year.  Do you understand that? I’d trade away 5 more first round picks so that those assclowns didn’t play for my team again.  With that said, I’m gonna give my predictions for how this draft will go.  I aim for a 100% correct rate (so NFL teams do what I say!).  In all honesty though, I will probably only get the 1st and 2nd picks right.

Here we go:

1. Andrew Luck QB/Stanford (I hate the way he talks)

2. Robert Griffin III QB/Baylor (He will be amazing in Madden)

3. Matt Kalil LT/USC (Is this guy arab?)

4. Trent Richardson RB/Alabama (Did anybody else find it weird that a Junior in college was taking a girl to the prom? Yeh it was a good gesture, but still weird)

5. Morris Claiborne CB/LSU (Apparently this guy is an idiot, but luckily you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to play football)

6. Justin Blackmon WR/Oklahoma State (To me, he is the 2nd best prospect in this draft. Megatron v2.0 or perhaps Optimus Prime)

7. Fletcher Cox DT/Mississippi State (Must have sucked to have this guy’s name growing up)

8. Ryan Tannehill QB/Texas A&M (This is a reach, and he will most likely suck, mostly because the Dolphins suck)

9. Luke Kuechly LB/Boston College (He can’t be this good, he played for BC, therefor he was on defense a lot, hence the high tackle numbers, bad pick)

10. Michael Floyd WR/Notre Dame (Smart QB, decent RB, knucklehead WR, and now smart WR…the Bills need help)

11. Stephon Gilmore CB/South Carolina (2nd best CB in the draft, great value pick, Chiefs will still suck)

12. Melvin Ingram DE/South Carolina (who would have thought 2 Gamecocks players to go this early)

13. Riley Reiff OT/Iowa (Weak offensive line draft this year)

14. Mark Barron S/Alabama (And with that, this guy will be hated by me forever, the Cowboys still suck)

15. Michael Brockers DT/LSU (He didn’t win a championship in college, and with the Eagles, hopefully he never wins)

16. Quinton Coples DE/UNC (Check out the Frat scars on this guys arms, they make me want to throw up)

17. Dre Kirkpatrick CB/Alabama (He better know how to do drugs, rob something, beat his wife, etc if he’s joining the Bengals)

18. Chandler Jones DE/Syracuse (Wouldn’t it be great if he was named after Chandler from Friends…is the show even that old?)

19. Dontario Poe DT/Memphis (Bears wanting to make their line as scary as the Lions…)

20. Whitney Mercilus DE/Illinois (These last 3 picks can all be alternated, they are that close)

21. David DeCastro G/Stanford (Bengals finally picking smart)

22. Kendall Wright WR/Baylor (Fast receiver, hopefully RG3 made him look better than he is and not vice versa)

23. Cordy Glenn G/Georgia (Protect the fragile Stafford)

24. Dont’a Hightower LB/Alabama (Steelers look to get younger on defense)

25. Jerel Worthy DT/Michigan State (Broncos need help on defense, line help is crucial)

26. Stephen Hill WR/Georgia Tech (Speed. Speed. Speed. Put him on the outside running Go-routes with Andre Johnson in the middle of the field. Wow)

27. Courtney Upshaw DE/Alabama (Never mind that he has a girl’s name, this guy was a beast at Alabama, steal this late in draft)

28. Shea McClellin LB/Boise State (The rich get richer, more LB help for the Packers talented core)

29. Kevin Zeitler G/Wisconsin (Will the Hitler youth please stand up…his name alone scares me)

30. Brandon Weeden QB/Oklahoma State (49ers don’t really trust Alex Smith again do they?)

31. Harrison Smith S/Notre Dame (Pats need lots of help on defense, especially the secondary)

32. Coby Fleener TE/Stanford (Giants need a Tight End, he’s the best tight end, makes sense)

Now by no means am I a draft expert, but let’s just see how well I do.  If I get half the guys in the right spot, I’ll be pretty damn ecstatic.

Hey Commish Goodell, you sure you don't wanna accidentally call my name tonight? Pleeeeezzz

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