Why the hell do restaurants put lemons in their waters? Seriously, why? I think if I order a water it should just be a “water”, not a “water with a lemon.” I hate lemons.  If I wanted a lemon, I’d have said give me a damn lemon.  Oh and Chili’s waitress, you don’t think I saw you take the lemon out and bring me back the same water? Oh you think I’m an idiot like you? Bring me a damn fresh water with NO lemon! You know, the way I ordered it, “can I get a water with NO lemon.”  I know that my meal is gonna be based off of the simple original request for water.  If she messes it up (yes it’s usually a she who messes it up), then my meal will be equally crappy (probably from the extra spit that ‘Keri’ added to it).  So restaurants, rather than spike up the cost of the food, how bout saving money and not buying lemons.  Or just giving them to the people who request ’em.  Save yourself some damn money and save me from having to come up with a bullshit reason for why I don’t want lemons in my water (because ‘I don’t like lemons’ is apparently not acceptable). Maybe I’ll use the whole “I’m allergic to them” excuse and just keep asking if any of my entree, appetizer, utensils, or beverage came in contact with a lemon.  Then I can start sniffing everything and “act” like I’m crazy.  That’d be kinda fun, hmm, maybe next time ‘Crystal’ brings me lemons in my water I’ll do that.

This water doesn't even look refreshing! The lemon ruined the water, all sour and shit! And who drinks water without ice? NO LEMON but WITH ICE! Damn 'Sally' get my order right!

PS: If you just read that and were like “oh I like lemons” or “just take the lemon out of your water”, you need to shut the hell up. Fo’ real.

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3 thoughts on “Lemons

  1. When life gives you lemons, write a blog post.

  2. jdeena says:

    I’ll take your lemons for you. I even ask for extra lemons…yes, I’m the one who has ruined your water experience at restaurants.

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