I’m a genius. Go ahead, everybody say it together (about me, not you). I’ve come up with yet another great idea; another revolutionary thought that will make the world a better place (for the record, I have no idea if I am using the semicolon properly). You guys ready? Of course you are! Here it is….we should add an extra day to the week! Put it between Saturday and Sunday. I still don’t know what to call it yet, but Epiday comes to mind (short for Epic day). It becomes an extra day to the weekend. A reward for the working class! Just shift everything over a day every week. We’d still have our 5 day work weeks (6 for some us, womp womp), and now we’d be getting that highly coveted 3 day weekend. Seriously guys, give me a damn pat on the back, give me a cookie, hell give me the key to the mother effin’ city (seriously, I want that big ass key). What could possibly be the negative of this? There isn’t one (unless somehow it causes the world to tilt off axis, and by my calculations, that will not be the case). Oh man, how glorious life would be. An extra day of sleep, an extra of chillin’, an extra day of fantastical nothingness! Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before? Answer: Because nobody is as smart as me! This yet again proves why I should be King of the World (hello minions!). Folks, let’s figure out a way to make this happen. Once again I appeal to you to write your senators, neighbors, mayors, presidents, bosses, and clergymen. Together we CAN do this! I can’t wait for Epiday!
(Actually, go ahead and thank me now!)