Last week, I was walking to get lunch, and I saw a guy on fire running down the street. He looked kinda cool, so I figured he was doing this as some ploy to get attention. Then it brought back up a memory (faint though it was) of how you are supposed to put a fire out on yourself. Remember “Stop, Drop, and Roll?” Does it actually work? Is this another thing like cursive (God, cursive you are so damn stupid)? As kids, we used to practice this fire prevention measure in school all the time, it was like our “dance” practice (I’m pretty sure that in some parts of this country it actually IS a dance now). So anyways, does this actually work? If you were on fire right now, would you stop, drop, and roll? I wouldn’t. I’d run around screaming my head off and yelling for water (just like that dude was doin). I’d prob remove the article of clothing on fire and try to pat it down so the fire would go out (like they do in the movies). What I wouldn’t do is stop, drop, and roll. It isn’t on my mind (except for during this blog, or if I’m at a club and tryna get people crunk). I’m actually pretty sure that if I saw that grown ass man, stopping, dropping, and rolling, that I’d just point and laugh at them. That’s right, I wouldn’t even help them out. It’s really weird. Seriously, stand up right now and stop, drop, and roll. There, I just did it, I don’t think that would put out a fire. Does anybody know if they still teach this to the “chilllrens”? What the hell were they teaching us as kids? You know what would be cool to do if someone was on fire? Dropkick and Push. If stop, drop, and roll is effective, I am 100% sure that “Dropkick and Push” would be even MORE effective. Imagine this if you will, person running down the sidewalk on fire, they are hysterical, they have no idea what to do, they are nowhere near “Stop, Drop, and Roll”ing. You see them, and of course there isn’t a water hose or fire extinguisher close by. You line them up, BOOM, dropkick, then start pushing them across the sidewalk. I bet that would put that fire out. And if it didn’t, I bet you’d never forget the time you dropkicked a dude on fire.
(I made that story up at the beginning. I didn’t see anybody on fire. If you believed that you are a damn fool.)