A little vulgar on the title huh? Well, it kinda fits with the actual topic, so shut your face! A while ago I went off on a phrase that pissed me off (‘having your cake and eating it too’), today I’m gonna go off on one that has always confused me. “Don’t be a party pooper”, that’s the phrase. Why does it confuse me? Better yet, why DOESN’T it confuse you?!? Where the hell did that expression come from? I understand why people use it, but why? Seriously, why? Did some guy (most likely named Omar) show up one day to a party, get really pissed off, and rather than enjoy the party, he just shat right there for everyone to see? Did this action effectively ruin the celebration and cause everyone to go home? Or maybe Omar (just to give the scenario a realistic feel) just really had to go, and the bathroom was occupied, and he just ‘went’ right then and there. Maybe that’s what caused the party to sour and make everyone leave? I dunno. I just never understood the saying. That’s why when people call me a ‘party pooper’ I steadfastly defend myself, because I know DAMN well that I didn’t even go to the bathroom (or in my pants like ‘Omar’). So next time you use this phrase, please do it accurately. If you see someone coming out of the bathroom, call them out, be like “bro, why you gotta be such a party pooper?” They can’t deny it because in fact they are. But for the guy that’s being lame at the party and ruining it for others, use something else, something more appropriate, you know like “hey bro, you’re such an asshole” (notice the location of the action still stays intact). Next time a party sucks, and you wanna be ‘that guy’, do it the right way, head to the bathroom, do your thing, and emerge an official Party Pooper (they might even give you a sticker…probably not). As for me, I’m kinda awesome, so I’d be the “life” of the party, no pooping here (move along there’s nothing to see here).