Bring on the Rain…

You know what I love (nah girl it ain’t you)? Rain while I’m sleeping, that’s what I love.  You know what I hate (yeh bro, it’s probably you)? Having to wake up from my slumber while it’s raining outside.  Is there a better (sleep induced) feeling than being wrapped up in your blanket while the rain falls angrily on the roof of your house? No sir, there isn’t.  It’s so much harder to wake up when it’s raining.  It sucks actually.  I believe rules should be established for when it’s raining in the morning and our alarms go off.  Kinda like how in school growing up there would be 2 hour delays, I think we should start having those be mandatory for when it’s raining in the morning.  Rather than wake up grumpy and tired, we’d get an extra “nap” and wake up refreshed and feeling all warm and fuzzy inside (I never understood why anyone would want to feel fuzzy inside?).  I guarantee (that’s right, GUARANTEE) that production would soar based solely off of this one little fix.  Obviously cities like Seattle would be on constant 2 hour delay, but damn, that would be a good way to get people to move there (screw the highest suicide rate in the country statistics, rain would now bring a positive to that city).  Imagine this, it’s 6 or 7 AM (or whenever you’re waking up), and you hear rain outside.  Think of the joyous smile that will come to your face as you reset your alarm for 2 more hours of gloriousness (not a word, I don’t care, shut up Grammar Police).  Now snuggle back in those blankets, rub your head a few times against the pillow (imagine it as a cloud from the Care Bears, how soft and comfortable is that?) until you find that sweet spot, and let that cold pillow case rescue you back into a dream where the world goes according to you (or me, because my world will be a hell of a lot cooler than yours). Sleep well my friends, then sleep a little longer when it’s raining, and know that when I’m ‘King of the World,’ shit like this will be the standard (you can never start too early in politicking).

This could be you, all comfortable and shit, except not as a bear, if you vote for me.

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