Hey assholes. Yes, I’m talking to you. Just shut up before you even say anything. Confused? You shouldn’t be. This goes out to all the self righteous ‘Grammar Police’ (GP for short) that have suddenly taken over the ‘internets,’ aka Facebook, G-Chat, Twitter, and MySpace (does anybody even use MySpace? I wonder if Tom has a Facebook.). Hey correction patrol, don’t think I don’t remember you making a C-/D+ in English class all through High School. Now you come at me with oh you mean “their” instead of “there.” If I commented every time you made a mistake in real life as much as you comment on what people say in the internet world, I’m pretty sure you’d be in solitary confinement afraid of any social interaction. Winning the Spelling Bee in the 2nd grade does not qualify you to walk around with
your (I was so tempted to use ‘you’re’ just to piss you off) chest puffed out correcting me. The above mediums of communication aren’t made for proper spelling or correct homonym (hey GP, do you even know what that word means? Nope, you don’t, you’re looking it up right now.) use, we leave that crap for papers and class. Trust me, no one thinks your you’re any smarter for correcting everyone’s mistakes. In fact, everyone thinks you’re just being an asshole. The aforementioned social media outlets are for quick communication of what’s on a persons mind, it’s not a damn thesis. Does it pain me to see mistakes? Yes, yes it does, but as big of an asshole as I am, I don’t go around posting corrections with my Facebook ‘Red Pen.’ I’m not a professor, a teacher, or even a TA. I’m just a dude on the internet posting stuff as fast as I can. If I’m G-Chatting (same goes with texting) with you, and mess up, it’s because I DON’T CARE, so whatever you say is just a waste of Google’s ink in the chat box. So when I miss an apostrophe, forget to capitalize a letter at the beginning of a sentence, or misspell ‘cat’ could ya please just back off. It’s enough that everyone will see how big of an idiot I am, there’s no need to show how big of a douche you are as well. Let’s just go ahead an accept the fact that people are getting dumber by the day and that the internet is most likely to blame. I have better things to do than proofread my entire life (including this blog, so if I messed up, I don’t care, and ‘shut your mouth when you’re talking to me’). So ‘Grammar Police,’ find a new hobby, because there’s a new Sheriff in town, and he just don’t give a ______ (insert your own cuss word for personal emphasis)! There, I DONE SAID IT (oh I know my blog name is an incorrect phrase, shut the hell up!)!
(For the record GP, you aren’t even a real law enforcement branch. Show me your damn badge!)