How to Un-Bore Facebook

Dear Facebook,

You’re “BORRRRINNNGGG.” It’s time for a change, and this time make it one everybody (or maybe just me) wants to see.  Timeline is kinda cool, I’m not gonna lie, but let’s start making some changes that make Facebook (“do you guys know how to post videos to Facebook?”) a little more ‘real.’  Let me outline the ways to make FB fun and awesome.

  1. ‘Hate’ button – I know people have been asking for a ‘dislike’ button for a while, but like I said, it’s time to make FB fun.  Imagine when your friends make stupid status updates, or take retarded pictures of themselves, all you have to do is click ‘Hate’ and let the fun begin.  It’d be a great way to keep those knuckleheads in check by calling them out.  I bet you they wouldn’t keep posting stupid shit.  There’d be a new sheriff in town, and he’d be ‘Hate’ing the hell out of posts on his way to loads of laughs.
  2. Add a New ‘Acquaintance’ system – Ok, let’s be real, all of your FB “friends” aren’t really your friends.  If you don’t have that persons email or phone number, they are not your friend.  That’s right folks, they are just an ‘acquaintance.’  This function would make your real friends have to step their game up, because if you don’t hear from them in a while, BAM, guess who just got demoted to ‘acquaintance.’  This could entail a privacy setting just below private, where all you could see is just the persons main picture and you could only post once a week.  How awesome would this be? You’d have people competing to be your friend.  Seriously, Zuckerberg make this happen!
  3. Some sort of Ratings system – based on your ‘likes’ and ‘hates’ you would have a side panel that shows your top 5 friends, and your top 5 annoying friends.  This can be used as a means to make fun of people when you meet them up in person.
  4. Automatic de-friending – If you haven’t received any form of communication or haven’t communicated with someone in around 4  months, then that person automatically gets dropped off of your friends list and thrown into the ‘acquaintance’ pile.  If the inactivity continues for 2 months after that, they will be dropped off completely.  This would solve the whole people getting mad at you for de-friending them problem, because in reality they would be the ones to blame.
  5. Get rid of the stupid games.  This one is pretty self explanatory. If you are playing these games, de-friend me now, seriously, right now.  I’m sick of your stupid invites and notifications.

Like vs. Hate the only voting system that matters in 2012

There, with 5 easy steps, I’ve just made Facebook more like “Funbook” (just made that up, I swear if somebody steals that idea we are gonna fight or maybe just a good ole fashioned PRS battle).  Hey Zuckerberg, if you can’t add all of these at least do a few, and give me my props when you do it you thief!  Don’t do me like you did them twins!  Let ‘Hate’ take over Facebook, and let the fun begin. Facebook, stop being an ‘acquaintance,’ let’s be ‘friends’ bro.

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4 thoughts on “How to Un-Bore Facebook

  1. Anonymous says:

    Jadolous, please cite your source for the term “BORRRRINNNGGG.” it severely cripples the credibility of this blog. Thank you.

    Shiniglayleh.

    • jadolous says:

      “BORRRRINNNNGGGG” – A term describing the inhabitants of the Northern Virginia/DC Metro area

      • Anonymous says:

        as a result of the influx of the inhabitants of raleigh, nc into our pristine community…

    • Arnaud says:

      It all depends on what’s taxed more. In Switzerland, if you own an aprmtaent, you have to pay extra taxes as if you get income from renting it out. As a result, home ownership is only 30-something percent.

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