In 2nd grade (I think it was 2nd grade, I was either really advanced or really slow) we learned a skill set that was supposed to revolutionize the way we communicated with the world. With this task, we were stepping into a whole new world (a new fantastic point of view, no one to tell us no, or where to go, or say we’re only dreaming). With this and multiplication (3rd grade I think), we would have all that we’d need to rule the world! If you haven’t figured out what this wonderful thing is yet, it’s cursive. That’s right freakin’ cursive! You know cursive, that font type that you never use except for when writing out your signature, and even then you aren’t even following the cursive rules. Courtesy of some idiot named Aldus Manutius, cursive terrorized children for years who couldn’t figure out how to write that damn ‘z.’ How many countless hours did we spend writing out all the lower case letters then “advancing” to capital letters? The answer: too many.
So who uses cursive now? Second to Fourth grade teachers, that’s who. Oh and assholes who think they are fancy and write things that nobody can even read or understand. I can honestly say that I haven’t used cursive since I had to write papers in high school (why did they make us write papers in cursive?). Cursive is what led to doctors being able to get away with writing shit that nobody can read. Cursive is what led to the fall of the Roman Empire (pretty sure that didn’t happen). Cursive is why we have so many kids struggling to get through school. It’s made the “childrens” hate the english language, so now they speak some hybrid abbreviated “lol” version of english. Does cursive have nude pictures of the entire United States’ public and private school systems? Is it bribing all the teachers? What is the stranglehold that it has over our teachers? Seriously what the hell?
If you are one of the very few
people idiots that actually write more than your name in cursive, just STOP. Nobody wants to read that, nobody can read that, and nobody wants to be your friend anymore. Seriously, stop callin’ me, we aren’t friends anymore. I said leave me alone! Damn you Aldus, and damn you cursive! There, I DONE SAID IT!