Tiger Woods is sneaky y’all….

Now we know how he did it!! We wondered how Tiger Woods kept his affairs with ALL of those women (when I say ALL, if you are a woman reading this, you are being included in the count) a secret for all those years.  Well now we figured it out!! A book by Tiger’s former coach Hank Haney, ‘The Big Miss’ has all the juicy details (and by juicy I mean boring, because it’s a book about golf, so I’ll just go with my imagination regarding what I think the Navy SEALs portion is about). My man was tryna be a Navy SEAL!  Haayyyy Tiger, I see you baby (shakin’ that ass {sorry I had to}).I personally don’t see him as the combat type, but I think he was all in on learnin’ to sneak around on his SUPERMODEL wife (damn, he’s an idiot) without getting caught.  Tiger was apparently giddy like a school girl when it came to the military and he even went and trained in Fort Bragg, North Carolina for a few days back in 2004.  I can envision him now, sneaking up on terrorist cells across the world.  Here’s the play by play:

“Here’s Tiger, with his golfball grenade on the tee, the wind is blowing about 7 mph out of the south/southeast.  It’s about  587 yards to the target.  If I was him, I’d lay it up a little short to stop any kind of getaway by the bad guys, then sprint 200 yards, and follow it up with an approach shot that’s right at the pin/bad guys leader’s forehead.  It’s a difficult shot, but Tiger knows pressure, don’t you remember the Masters? He’s like Rambo, with a putter.  He’s a lean, mean, Par 4 killin’ machine”

For all we know, he is a Navy SEAL and that’s why he’s sucked ever since he got caught cheating aka was revealed to be a Navy SEAL so they had to cover it all up (it’s all a conspiracy I tell you!).  With a little bit of help from some informants, I was able to obtain some action shots of El Tigre while in combat. Enjoy!

This is Tiger hangin’ out with his boys right before a mission.

Tiger DURING a mission (I paid a TON of monopoly money for this one).

The movie poster for the REMAKE of NAVY SEALS with Charlie Sheen.

One thought on “Tiger Woods is sneaky y’all….

  1. fred says:

    Golfer? I hope you didn’t miss the Mayakoba Golf Classic this weekend. Everyone looked like they enjoyed sunny beautiful Mexico! Especially first time PGA Tour winner, John Huh. Final round wrap-up video right here: http://bit.ly/zkLYHi

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